Sunday, May 2, 2010

Deadly Vision

There's this Lady With Perfect Shampoo Commercial Hair who's having psychic visions about a Creepy Bald Guy, which doesn't sit too well with her Stuffy Businessman Boyfriend who is starting to think she's a Nutcase. Luckily, the Guy Who Works At The Airline Dealing With A Plane Crash That The Lady Psychically Heard believes her.
Deadly Vision was a Lifetime Original Movie and it showed both in the movie itself and the video tape, which had a somewhat professional looking cover and rental stickers all over it, but was obviously taped off of television: there were split-seconds of commercials here and there and over the end credits a woman's voice told me all about what was coming on "Next On Lifetime." Cool.
So the movie started out okay, then took a turn into Emotional Turmoil Land and ended up in Kidnapping Drama Country. It had everything a Lifetime Original Movie should have: a leading lady with great hair, psychic incidents, a boyfriend who's supportive until his girlfriend turns out to be psychic, a replacement love interest who's okay with the psychic thing ...
Okay, maybe none of those are really Lifetime Original Movie stereotypes, but the fact that the leading lady gets kidnapped and suffers abuses at the hands of the Creepy Bald Guy sure is. That and the fact that, up until that point, her life was fairly glamorous. She had a really nice apartment with a very 80s boyfriend and she worked as a professional dancer.
Actually, my favorite part of the movie was the very beginning, where they set up her career:
Dancing girls! A dancing girl dressed up like an Italian Chef Stereotype! Dancing ketchup and mustard! A dancing cheeseburger! The dance ends, the cheeseburger costume drops to reveal Shampoo Commercial Hair Lady, who smiles and says "Try me, I'm delicious." Then the director tells her to hold the smile for way too long, and cut! Best beginning to a Lifetime Original Movie ever.
The only other part I really liked was her second psychic vision. The first one was kind of cool, with everyone around her slowing down and stopping, except for Creepy Bald Guy. That sort of vision got less and less interesting every time she had another one, though, which was a lot.
The second one, though, was genius! Shampoo Commercial Hair Lady opened the refrigerator and, in slow motion, an egg fell out of a bowl and rolled down the shelf and fell to the floor. As it was rolling and falling, the lady could hear the sounds of a conversation between a pilot and copilot trying and failing to save their crashing plane. As they gave up on the plane and said "We're losing her," the egg smashed on the ground and the lady lost it, screaming "Oh my god!!!" It was awesome.
Other than that, though, it's about ninety minutes of nothing going on.

End of line.
-Sally

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