First of all, I'm tired of writing reviews and have decided to stop.
For the most part, anyway. If I watch a movie and feel I have something to say about it, I'll post something but overall, I'm done with this blog. I'm not as grumpy or opinionated as I once was and over the next few months I plan on going through all my posts on this site and taking down all but the ones I feel are well written.
Thanks to all one or two of you who actually read my blog. It's been fun. See you around.
That being said: Rabies.
Rabies is, so the story goes, the first horror movie to come out of Israel and I have been excited to see it for at least a couple years, ever since I read an article about it (and Cuba's first horror movie, Juan Of The Dead) in an issue of Rue Morgue.
Well, last night I finally got around to watching it! And!
It was okay. It was bloody and a few moments were very satisfying. But I'd read so much about how brutal this movie is that I ended up feeling underwhelmed.
Sure it was plenty violent (the Strong Sad quote "And everyone died, and nobody lived." kept popping to mind) but I'd have a hard time calling it brutal since most of that violence is perpetrated against people who are one hundred percent unlikeable. I hated all but two characters, one of whom appears only peripherally at the very beginning and the other dies an hour in. All the other characters were varying degrees of asshole and, to be honest, most of their deaths made me laugh. A lot. 'Cause fuck them, they suck.
And that, I guess it should be pointed out, is why I like a lot of slasher movies: the characters either have bad personalities or no personalities so the audience can feel entertained by their horrible murders at the hands of charismatic (or at least somewhat interesting) killers. Rabies fails because the people committing the murders are the assholes who are also getting killed. There's no one to root for.
In fact, one death scene in particular (which I will give away to anybody who asks, because it was just that funny) was Looney Tunes-caliber hilarious and made me spend the rest of the movie wondering if I was supposed to have been taking any of this seriously.
So, yeah, I'd really wanted to see it for a long time and it was a letdown. But I did enjoy spending an hour and a half listening to people speak Hebrew. I'm a sucker for people speaking languages I don't understand.
End of line.