Monday, December 27, 2010

Top Ten Movies Of 2010 ... Sort Of

It's the end of the year and, obviously, I've taken a long break from writing reviews. There's a reason for that: I got kind of sick of it. I'll be back to it soon; I borrowed Boogeyman and Boogeyman 2 from my brother JustinCase, so as soon as I get around to watching those, I assure you there'll be new reviews. I haven't given up completely; I'm just taking a break so I can watch Leverage. Lots and lots of Leverage. (I considered writing reviews of The Ho Ho Ho Job, The Big Bang Job and The San Lorenzo Job when they aired but, obviously, I didn't follow through. Short version: Of the three, Big Bang Job was my favorite thanks to an insanely awesome and over the top gunfight.)
Back to the matter at hand. The end of the year is the time when movie reviewers make their lists of the Top Ten Movies Of The Year. I had planned to make one of my own, but hit a little snag as I went over the movies I watched this year: I only watched nine that were released in 2010. And unless I get off my ass and go see Tron Legacy or Black Swan in the next four days, that's all I'm gonna see. I watched a boatload of movies this year, but couldn't even bother to see ten new ones. This is what happens when you go through a huge Robert Englund phase, I guess. He's in more older movies than newer ones. (I have to say, I'm really looking forward to Inkubus. I think that's coming out next year.)
Speaking of actors I adore, I think I'm going to have to go on a Bill Moseley kick soon. There was a time where I had actually seen everything he was in. This is no longer the case. I've fallen way behind.
I found out earlier today that Bill Moseley is going to play Charles Manson in a movie called Manson's Girls which also has Thora Birch in it, as well as Monica Keena from Freddy Versus Jason (thus connecting the movie with my recent Robert Englund kick) and Estella Warren from Her Minor Thing (this connecting the movie to my current Christian Kane kick). And, just to make sure no strings go untied, according to IMDB both Bill Moseley and Robert Englund are going to be in a movie called The Gathering, which will be the first movie they've been in together and all I have to say about that is "It's about fucking time!"
I'm also very much looking forward to the release of Good Day For It, which doesn't look like a movie I'd like very much (it kinda looks similar to Red (the dead dog one), which I supremely hated) except it has Robert Englund and Christian Kane in it. And they both play bad guys who are trying to kill Robert Patrick (AKA The T-1000). Awesome.
Now if only Bill Moseley and Christian Kane would be in the same movie...
What does all this have to do with my Top Ten Of 2010 List? Not much, I guess, but it does pretty well sum up what I've been up to all year. I watched Robert Englund movies for the better part of the year and, thanks to Amanda introducing me to Leverage and my subsequent obsession with the show, I've been watching Christian Kane movies over the past few months. That's all the year was for me: Freddy Krueger and Eliot Spencer. And whoever did the casting for Good Day For It had the good sense to put them together in one movie for my fangirly convenience.
And how does Bill Moseley fit into all of this? Because he's cool, too.
So, to make a long story short (too late), here is my Top Ten Favorite Movies Of 2010:

10) A Nightmare On Elm Street - The dream sequences were cool and Jackie Earl Haley made a fine Freddy, but thanks to the absolute uselessnes of Rooney Mara, my overall reaction to the movie was quite negative. It's only on the list because I didn't see ten new movies this year.
9) There is no movie number nine - I would have started with nine, but I'm pretty sure the lack of a tenth movie was actually better than the Elm Street remake, so that one was demoted to ten and nothing takes the number nine spot.
8) 2001 Maniacs: Field Of Screams - Sure, it's fun once the blood starts flowing but the not very funny humor leading up to the carnage that is the last half hour kinda sinks it. Extra points to Bill Moseley for stepping into Robert Englund's eyepatch (???), and to Lin Shaye, who I met at a party in November and was the nicest lady I could've ever hoped she would be. (Which has nothing to do with the movie itself, I guess, but she's just so damn cool!)
7) Red - The Retired and Extremely Dangerous one; the good one. The one that features but does not star Brian Cox. The action packed fun fest. Loved it. I think the only way I could have loved it more would have been if I hadn't seen Machete earlier the same day.
6) Despicable Me - I don't really remember much of Despicable Me, but I know I really enjoyed it. It was fun and silly and the minions were entertaining. The scene where he reads the girls the bedtime story about the three kittens was probably my favorite part, and I'm still going around yelling "It's so fluffy I'm gonna die!" when the situation calls for it.
5) Machete - I realized while watching this movie that I'm a total sucker for Robert Rodriguez's work. I think the only thing he's done that I've seen that I wasn't terribly fond of was Four Rooms, and that was only one quarter his fault. Machete is all action and scantily clad women and more action. And Danny Trejo being a badass.
4) Toy Story 3 - Easily the only Toy Story movie I really like, and it's mainly thanks to Spanish Mode Buzz Lightyear and Ken. Plus, the scenes that ripped my heart out and made me cry were, for lack of a better word, justified. They weren't easily avoidable attacks on my very soul, like that song from Toy Story 2.
3) Inception - Christopher Nolan is, like Robert Rodriguez, one of those directors I'm a fan of without really realizing it. Inception was chock full of neat ideas, I didn't want to punch Ellen Page, I love Joseph Gordon Levitt and Marion Cotillard and, let's be honest, I'll watch anything that revolves around dream sequences (I'm a Nightmare On Elm Street fan whose favorite episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer is Restless).
2) The A Team - Hell yeah! I'm so bummed this movie flopped, 'cause it really is an origin story and I would love to see a sequel. And, now that I think about it, I can see a lot of parallels between this and Leverage (and not just because Hardison occasionally says "I love it when a plan comes together"); it's the formula that I'm obssessed with. I'll love that formula 'til the day I get Alzheimer's and forget what movies and television are.
1) Iron Man 2 - Even if for no other reason than it's the only movie of 2010 I've seen more than once. I suppose I didn't like it as much as the first Iron Man, but that's not saying much. There are a lot of movies I didn't like as much as the first Iron Man. This was an awesome sequel; the only thing wrong with it was Scarlett Johanssen. She's insanely uninteresting to me, almost more flat and boring than Rooney Mara in A Remake On Elm Street, and that causes problems when she's playing someone as fucking cool as Black Widow. That problem aside, though, Iron Man 2 is everything it should be, and the scene where he figures out the secret of the map his dad left him is way more exhilirating than it should be (seeing as it's basically just a guy in a room with a fancy computer).

So, there you go. The Top Ten Movies Of 2010 ... Sort Of ... If You're Me. I hope you've enjoyed this rambly trip down recent memory lane and here's hoping I actually see ten or more new movies in 2011 so this list will actually be a challenge to put together at the end of next year.

End of line.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Faith No More at the Hollywood Palladium, November 30, 2010

Okay, you know how I'm always saying I'm sick of Epic, I don't care if I never hear Epic again, I've heard Epic way too many times?
I cried when they played Epic. I did. My guess is that it really hammered home for me "This is a Faith No More concert." Something I thought I'd never get to see. I hadn't really started going to shows yet when they broke up and for years and years Mike Patton said he'd never do a reunion.
I'm glad he's a big liar.
(Honestly, though, if they'd reunioned with Chuck Mosley instead, I still would've gone and rocked out. I'm actually kinda bummed he didn't do a guest spot like he did for one of their San Francisco shows.)
There were three downsides to the concert:
1) I never managed to sell my extra ticket. (The sting of which lessened when I realized if one ticket had cost $120 I still would've bought it.)
2) The guy standing to my right would not shut up. He was loud, he was obnoxious, he kept making duck calls and saying stupid things at the top of his voice, I'm pretty sure he thought he was funny and that everybody wanted to hear the dumb shit he had to say, and he seemed to think Mike Patton was the only guy in the band. (I'll admit I'm very much a fan of Mike Patton (I can't help it; I've had a crush on the guy since I was ten and his voice and music fascinate me), but there are four other men on the stage rocking just as hard as he is and they all deserve our love.) The guy's lucky I didn't go all Toki Wartooth on his ass, but that would've ruined the concert as it would have certainly ended in my getting arrested.
3) One of the lights on the stage shone right into my eyes whenever it was on (I was standing on the balcony), making it impossible to see anybody but Roddy Bottum and Mike Bordin. (Which isn't a huge complaint since they're both really entertaining to watch.)
Other than that, everything about the show was amazing and wonderful.
Except (thought of a fourth downside) I didn't like how the audience booed the opening acts (Selene Luna, a guy from the Magic Castle whose name I've forgotten, and the Creepy Creeps). I hate it when people boo.
Selene Luna told my new favorite joke; she was talking about how when people see her they tend to stare (she's about three feet tall) and she said "You know, I understand it's not often your day is enchanted by a little person. So go ahead, take it all in and be on your way. But some people don't know when to stop staring, and those are the people who I want to go up to and say 'No one else can see me. I'm here to help you.'" Cracked me up, she did.
The Creepy Creeps were synthesizery surf music, and I'm assuming, based on the zombie masks, the name of the band and the coffin shaped keyboard stand, their lyrics were probably horror inspired. I couldn't tell a damn word they said, though, so I can't be sure. What I can be sure of is that I liked them. They were very danceable. If I'd had more cash I would've bought one of their albums.
And then there was Faith No More. They fucking rocked. It was everything a Faith No More show should be; they played hits, they played randomass covers, they played a few really good non-hits (Just A Man and Helpless especially blew me away), they were wearing suits (except Mike Bordin).
There was even some inter-band bickering. I couldn't hear what they were saying but at one point in the show Mikes Patton and Bordin seemed to be having a rather intense discussion. It looked like Billy Gould got involved at one point, too. They made up later; I saw Mike Patton say "I'm not mad," but that's as much of the conversation that I managed to lip-read. And by the end of the show they were friends again. That's how it looked to me, anyway. It was fascinating and I don't know if I would've seen it if I'd been standing anywhere else.
People crowd surfed to I Started A Joke. Roddy Bottum and Mike Patton kept asking the audience if we were happy. And Roddy forgot which album Spirit was on. Nobody bothered to bust out the melodica for This Guy's In Love With You so instead he had to whistle.
And from now on, as far as I'm concerned, encore is a French word, and it's a big secret that Roddy let us in on.
I got to go to a Faith No More show. I'm feeling transcendent. I'm walking on the clouds pictured on my beautiful new Faith No More shirt.
I'm a happy, happy sprout butt.

End of line.