Okay, you know how I'm always saying I'm sick of Epic, I don't care if I never hear Epic again, I've heard Epic way too many times?
I cried when they played Epic. I did. My guess is that it really hammered home for me "This is a Faith No More concert." Something I thought I'd never get to see. I hadn't really started going to shows yet when they broke up and for years and years Mike Patton said he'd never do a reunion.
I'm glad he's a big liar.
(Honestly, though, if they'd reunioned with Chuck Mosley instead, I still would've gone and rocked out. I'm actually kinda bummed he didn't do a guest spot like he did for one of their San Francisco shows.)
There were three downsides to the concert:
1) I never managed to sell my extra ticket. (The sting of which lessened when I realized if one ticket had cost $120 I still would've bought it.)
2) The guy standing to my right would not shut up. He was loud, he was obnoxious, he kept making duck calls and saying stupid things at the top of his voice, I'm pretty sure he thought he was funny and that everybody wanted to hear the dumb shit he had to say, and he seemed to think Mike Patton was the only guy in the band. (I'll admit I'm very much a fan of Mike Patton (I can't help it; I've had a crush on the guy since I was ten and his voice and music fascinate me), but there are four other men on the stage rocking just as hard as he is and they all deserve our love.) The guy's lucky I didn't go all Toki Wartooth on his ass, but that would've ruined the concert as it would have certainly ended in my getting arrested.
3) One of the lights on the stage shone right into my eyes whenever it was on (I was standing on the balcony), making it impossible to see anybody but Roddy Bottum and Mike Bordin. (Which isn't a huge complaint since they're both really entertaining to watch.)
Other than that, everything about the show was amazing and wonderful.
Except (thought of a fourth downside) I didn't like how the audience booed the opening acts (Selene Luna, a guy from the Magic Castle whose name I've forgotten, and the Creepy Creeps). I hate it when people boo.
Selene Luna told my new favorite joke; she was talking about how when people see her they tend to stare (she's about three feet tall) and she said "You know, I understand it's not often your day is enchanted by a little person. So go ahead, take it all in and be on your way. But some people don't know when to stop staring, and those are the people who I want to go up to and say 'No one else can see me. I'm here to help you.'" Cracked me up, she did.
The Creepy Creeps were synthesizery surf music, and I'm assuming, based on the zombie masks, the name of the band and the coffin shaped keyboard stand, their lyrics were probably horror inspired. I couldn't tell a damn word they said, though, so I can't be sure. What I can be sure of is that I liked them. They were very danceable. If I'd had more cash I would've bought one of their albums.
And then there was Faith No More. They fucking rocked. It was everything a Faith No More show should be; they played hits, they played randomass covers, they played a few really good non-hits (Just A Man and Helpless especially blew me away), they were wearing suits (except Mike Bordin).
There was even some inter-band bickering. I couldn't hear what they were saying but at one point in the show Mikes Patton and Bordin seemed to be having a rather intense discussion. It looked like Billy Gould got involved at one point, too. They made up later; I saw Mike Patton say "I'm not mad," but that's as much of the conversation that I managed to lip-read. And by the end of the show they were friends again. That's how it looked to me, anyway. It was fascinating and I don't know if I would've seen it if I'd been standing anywhere else.
People crowd surfed to I Started A Joke. Roddy Bottum and Mike Patton kept asking the audience if we were happy. And Roddy forgot which album Spirit was on. Nobody bothered to bust out the melodica for This Guy's In Love With You so instead he had to whistle.
And from now on, as far as I'm concerned, encore is a French word, and it's a big secret that Roddy let us in on.
I got to go to a Faith No More show. I'm feeling transcendent. I'm walking on the clouds pictured on my beautiful new Faith No More shirt.
I'm a happy, happy sprout butt.
End of line.