Top Fifty Favorite Movies (As Of Right This Now)

It's really not possible to write a definitive Top Any Number list because I keep seeing new movies and my tastes change to suit my moods (that's not fickleness, that's true of everybody). But I can write a Top Any Number list to coincide with the mood I'm in right now. And, seeing as I'm a compulsive list maker, I believe it's time to write up a Top Fifty Favorite Movies list. In a lot of ways it'll probably be similar to a Top Fifty Favorite Movies list I posted a year or two ago. And that's okay.

50) Vertigo - Back in high school I was absolutely obsessed with Vertigo (partially because I liked the story and partially because the video for Last Cup Of Sorrow by Faith No More was based on it) and it's still the only Alfred Hitchcock movie I own. As I get older, however, it slides slowly down the list. It's one of the world's least romantic romances and, much as I love the movie, there's a part of my brain that won't let me love it the way I used to.
49) Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Are Dead - Another movie I loved in high school that isn't as high on the list as it once was. In this case, though, it's just because the movie's a little longer than it needs to be. I still think it's brilliant, though. And who doesn't love Gary Oldman and Tim Roth? (Commies and fascists, that's who.)
48) Soapdish - When I was a kid I always took forfreakin'ever at the video store because every time I finally decided on a movie, I'd suddenly remember all the parts of said movie that I hated and would change my mind and have to start the whole decision process over again. I had a stable of about five movies I'd inevitably pick. Soapdish was one of them and, surprisingly, I still really love it (the same cannot be said for Big Business and Mannequin 2: On The Move, which I only really enjoy in a nostalgic way).
47) The Devil's Rejects - Well made, certainly, but so completely draining that I just can't stand to watch it. The continued story of the Firefly family is far more serious and far less fun than the first movie about them. I speak highly of The Devil's Rejects, but I haven't watched it in years. I can't. It's exhausting.
46) Pep Squad - Steve Balderson's first and (as far as I'm concerned) best movie (and that's saying something considering his second movie is visually amazing and stars Mike Patton twice). It's got stupid dialogue, a ridiculous plot and stiff, awkward acting but I still contend all those things work in its favor. It's a movie about high school and it honestly feels like it was written by high schoolers. And acted by high schoolers. It's a lousy movie that is also stealth-brilliant and I sincerely love it.
45) The Phantom Of The Opera - Not the Lon Chaney version (although that movie is fantastic and probably objectively the best Phantom Of The Opera movie) and definitely not the one based on the Andrew Lloyd Webber musical. No, I prefer the 1989 version starring Robert Englund. It's opulent, it's got a modern wraparound story for no good reason, it was supposedly edited down from a far gorier version that I would love to see and it's very, very '80s. It's the sort of movie I would have loved when I was a little kid if it weren't for the scenes where the phantom sews his face on. (I'd like to point out that, as I wrote this entry, I realized I didn't include Labyrinth anywhere on my list. Let's say Labyrinth is number fifty one on the list.)
44) Happy Accidents - I'm not a romantic comedy person. I just don't like them. They're cliched and sappy and, being a chick who's never been in requited love, they make me feel absolutely shitty about myself. Fuck romantic comedies in the face. However, there are a couple that sneak past my "I hate that shit" radar because they're either charming enough or have a wacky enough premise that I can't help but love them. Happy Accidents has a wacky enough premise that I can't help but love it.
43) Singin' In The Rain - I love movies about movies. (I'd like to include Living In Oblivion as number fifty two on my list.) I also love old musicals, and Singin' In The Rain is an old musical about movies. Gene Kelly is a brilliant, of course, but Donald O'Connor steals the show. And their Moses Supposes routine is still my favorite part of the movie.
42) Drive Angry - The other day my brother was telling me a story he read wherein a guy showed his girlfriend a movie he loved, and when he asked her if she liked it she said no because it was a "guy movie" and she didn't understand why guys always expect girls to like guy movies. I have a bone to pick with that fictional chick. I fucking love guy movies. Love them. My friend Scott, after seeing Drive Angry, told me that everything about it is reprehensible, that it was completely ridiculous and over the top, and that it was made specifically for me and every day I didn't watch it, the filmmakers cried. And he was right on all counts.
41) Evil Dead 2 - A lot of people consider Evil Dead 2 an improvement upon the original. I am not one of those people. But I do love it; how could I not love something so gleefully gory?
40) Everything Is Illuminated - I always forget until I'm watching it how good a movie Everything Is Illuminated actually is. I openly admit I only own it because it stars Eugene Hutz, and I'm usually not into serious roadtrip movies or character studies. But there are times where it's all I want to watch; last time I went to visit my dad I ended up watching it three days in a row just because nobody was home and no other movie would do.
39) Run Lola Run - I've never seen another movie like it and I am thrilled that there's no American remake. (Now that I've said that I'll probably find out tomorrow that there's one in the works. Goddamnit, what have I done?)
38) The 'Burbs - Tom Hanks does not trust his new neighbors. Hilarity ensues. I don't know what it is that The 'Burbs does right because the plot puts itself in such uncomfortable situations that one would think I'd hate it, but Joe Dante's a great director and he keeps things just cartoony enough that the movie came out perfect.
37) Drive - Movies don't often leave me speechless. I went to see Drive with Jo and, when the movie ended I wanted very much to tell her the million things I had to say about it and not one word could form. It's fantastic, so brutal and so smart that I cannot figure out why nobody went to see it.
36) The Fifth Element - I would pay good money to learn to speak Leeloo's language. I've heard that Luc Besson wrote The Fifth Element when he was fourteen and I'd believe it. That's what makes it so damn good.
35) White Christmas - I'm pretty sure this movie has more musical numbers than plot, and if you think about it you realize it barely has anything to do with Christmas. And it's wonderful, my favorite Christmas movie (after Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas, of course).
34) Tron - The sequel tried to ruin it for everyone, but nothing can mess with Tron. It's a classic, I love everything about it. I love Jeff Bridges, I love Ram, I love the special effects, I love the Master Control Program, I love the dialogue, the plot and the fact that the movie is like visual white noise. It's comforting.
33) Robin Hood - Disney's Robin Hood, specifically. It's suspect that it's right next to Tron on my list, considering the fact that I grew up with them on the same old video tape and they're lumped together in my mind (along with the Through The Looking Glass half of the 1986 Alice In Wonderland TV movie). I hear tell Robin Hood is one of the less-loved Disney films because it had a thin plot and a thinner animation budget, but I feel like entertainment value trumps that sort of thing, and Robin Hood is heck of entertaining. And has some of my favorite songs from any Disney movie (The Phony King Of England, Oo De Lally and Not In Nottingham).
32) Iron Man - I saw Iron Man in the theater six times. Six. And the only complaint I can come up with is the scene where the military is trying to shoot Tony Stark down goes on too long. But I can live with that. Iron Man kicks ass!
31) Monty Python And The Holy Grail - Unsurprisingly, the three Monty Python movies are all right next to each other on my list. Python is Python, I love all the movies about equally. The reason Holy Grail is last is no fault of the movie's. (I tell this story a lot so forgive me if I repeat myself.) In my tenth grade history class, I made a reference to something from an episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus. Someone asked me what I was talking about and I said it was a Monty Python quote. So they asked what Monty Python was and before I could answer, a few kids said "It's a movie about King Arthur." And, because I was a hotheaded little bitch in high school (...okay, not much has changed), I walked out of the class. Because that pissed me off. The teacher was a cool guy and he let me go, and I never completely forgave Holy Grail for people thinking it's what Monty Python is. I'm sorry, movie. It's not that I don't love you.
30) Monty Python's The Life Of Brian - I recently saw Life Of Brian for the first time since I was six, and ended up watching it again almost immediately. The humor makes a lot more sense when you're old enough to understand it. I'd always assumed Life Of Brian was boring but I was still looking at it from a child's perspective.
29) Monty Python's The Meaning Of Life - Meaning Of Life is my favorite Python movie simply because it most closely follows the style of the show. I'll even forgive it the fact that it has the one sketch of theirs I'm physically unable to watch (I actually don't know if I know anybody who thinks Mister Crehesote is funny. I wish I did; I'd like to ask them why). The Middle Of The Film, The Crimson Permanent Assurance and the salmon mousse (among other things) totally make up for the projectile vomiting.
28) Halloween 2 - I am a big fan of Rob Zombie's directorial work. I could say he's hit and miss, but even his misses are pretty good. In fact, I still defend his remake of Halloween even though it's my least favorite of his live action movies. Part of my defensiveness comes from the fact that without Halloween there'd have been no Halloween 2, which I consider his best work so far. I actually own both the theatrical and unrated cuts because I can't decide which I like better. It's a dark, fucked up movie and I love it.
27) Arsenic And Old Lace - Admittedly the "they said I looked like Boris Karloff" joke loses something when Jonathan isn't played by Boris Karloff, but who cares? It's fun. And it's one of the few movies where Peter Lorre was allowed to be the natural comedian he was. ... A lot of comedies I like revolve around murder. Why is that? (I just realized I didn't include Wet Hot American Summer on my list. That'll have to be number fifty three.)
26) Feast - I don't normally go for monster movies but this one is done so perfectly. It's disgusting, it's funny, it's got an eyeball gag that I can't stand to watch, and it does everything just a little off kilter.
25) Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs - The previews made Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs look so terrible. I was one of many, many people who scoffed at it, saying "How could it be good? The book doesn't even have a plot." I also don't really like the book. The movie, however, proved its previews wrong. Not only was it written by the good folks who brought us Clone High (one of my favorite TV shows) but the movie could not possibly be improved upon if it tried. It's silly, heartwarming and even suspenseful. But mostly it's silly, which, for me, is the most important aspect of comedy.
24) The Simpsons Movie - My friend Kristin once told me she read a review of The Simpsons Movie that described it as "a really long episode of The Simpsons" which meant its rewatchability factor was "only about fifty thousand." Or something along those lines. A lot of people complain that The Simpsons isn't good anymore and I guess a lot of people feel that the movie is proof of that lack of quality. I disagree with all of them.
23) Natural Born Killers - Apparently I only like love stories that are fucked up in some way. I also like incredibly violent movies and movies that are more style than substance. So I guess it's no surprise that I adore Natural Born Killers the way I do, and I don't care how much Quentin Tarantino bitches about it, I think it's better this way than how he wanted it to be. (Oh, let's add Grindhouse as my number fifty four movie)
22) High Tension - The first trailer I saw for High Tension was possibly the most effective trailer I've ever seen and, for once, the movie actually lived up to my expectations. So tense, so gory, so French, so many people hated the ending. Not me, though. I'd explain why, but that would give it away.
21) The Muppet Movie - What can I say? It's the Muppets. I don't trust people who don't like the Muppets. (The only reason I haven't seen their newest movie is because I cannot stand Amy Adams.) (Oh my gosh, the Marx Brothers! Add Monkey Business as number fifty five to the list.)
20) The Great Muppet Caper - And, while I love The Muppet Movie, nothing beats The Great Muppet Caper. The plot's a little stronger, which makes the humor a little stronger. And, though it's a very slight margin, I do like the songs in this movie better. (Sure, The Muppet Movie has I'm Going Back There Someday, which is just wonderful, but The Great Muppet Caper has Happiness Hotel, Hey A Movie and Stepping Out With A Star.)
19) Sin City - Sin City is another one of those "guy movies" that I feel like was made specifically for me. The acting is great, the violence is over the top and absolutely everything about it is fucking stylish. Hell yes!
18) Saw - Let's ignore for a moment the pantheon of hit and miss sequels and just look back at the innocent age of before Saw was considered a franchise. The first movie is so solid, so smart, so well done (and not nearly as gory as everyone thinks) and is still a perfect stand-alone suspense film. Much as I like some of the sequels (Saw 3 is a standout) it's actually kind of a shame they didn't leave well enough alone and stick with one.
17) Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid - A good old hardboiled detective comedy starring clips from old movies. Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid was one of my favorite movies when I was about seven and it still cracks me up.
16) Sleepy Hollow - Tim Burton and I have a stormy relationship and we probably always will. There are some movies he's made that I wish he hadn't (he should have left Sweeney Todd and Alice In Wonderland the fuck alone) but I feel like all our differences of opinion can be set aside because he gave me (gave us all) Sleepy Hollow, his hilarious and bloody tribute to Hammer horror films. Everything about Sleepy Hollow makes me happy and I'm not entirely sure why I'm not watching it right now.
15) Cecil B. Demented - Oh my god, speaking of movies that make me happy. I haven't seen a lot of John Waters movies. I like Cry Baby, I hate Pink Flamingos and I absolutely adore Cecil B. Demented. Yes, Cecil and the Sprocket Holes are violent kidnappers but you can't help but love them (especially Raven, the world's happiest Satanist) and their tirade against shitty Hollywood movies (many of which I like). The whole movie is over the top campy, and it's exactly the kind of movie that hits me in the joyful part of my brain.
14) A Hard Day's Night - The Beatles did what Elvis apparently tried to do by making a really good rock and roll movie. It has no real plot to speak of, just a couple of days in the life (ha!) of The Beatles. It's endlessly quoteable ("I thought I was supposed to be getting a change of scenery, but so far I've been in a train and a room and a car and a room and a room and a room" is probably the one I say the most) and if it weren't for occasional slow spots it would be higher up on the list, right next to its successor.
13) Insidious - Oh hell yes. It's not exactly a ghost story and not even close to the Poltergeist ripoff people claim it is. Insidious actually made me unable to sleep the first time I saw it. It does have the occasional jump scares, which normally piss me off, but they're balanced out by actual scares and a creepy atmosphere of dread so I'll let it slide.
12) The Emperor's New Groove - Yes, it does feel a bit more like an old Warner Brothers cartoon than a Disney movie, but that's what makes it so good. Yet another animated feature that was completely misrepresented by its trailers, The Emperor's New Groove is, now that I think about it, Disney's only real animated comedy. Sure, all of their movies have comedy in them, but this movie is nothing but. And it's fantastic.
11) Wes Craven's New Nightmare - Arguably better than the original, New Nightmare is by far the best movie Wes Craven has ever done. Blending his own creation of Freddy Krueger with a new demon myth and real life (the Northridge earthquake, Heather Langenkamp's stalker), I will never understand why this movie isn't hailed as the horror classic that it is. (Sure, it's the seventh movie in the series, but that doesn't make it not brilliant.)
10) BASEketball - BASEketball is one of those movies that cheers me up regardless of how shitty a mood I'm in. In fact, I often forget how funny it is until I'm watching it. There are very few gags in BASEketball that fall flat.
9) Help! - Help! is a flawless movie. I know I say this sort of thing about a lot of movies, but I don't understand why more people don't seem to love it the way I do. It's completely goofy and off the wall and full of great Beatles songs, and I never hear anyone praise it as highly as I do. Where are all the Help! fans hiding?
8) The Hunchback Of Notre Dame - Some people complain it's nothing like the book, some people complain it's too "adult" for children. I complain that people are complaining about it. Hunchback is an epic. And nobody will be able to convince me that Hellfire is not the greatest villain song ever written. (Nostalgia Critic will back me up on that.)
7) Cannibal! The Musical - Trey Parker's first movie is still his best. Based on a couple of true stories (the United States's first convicted cannibal Alferd Packer and the story of Trey Parker's fiancee leaving him shortly before they were to be married), neither of which sound like they'd be the basis for one of the fucking funniest movies ever made. But they are and it is. Most of the eight months I lived in San Francisco were spent singing the songs from Cannibal! while walking around town with my friends (or, now that I think about it, all the goodamn time).
6) Little Shop Of Horrors - Little Shop Of Horrors has been something of an obsession of mine ever since I was in high school. I'm not entirely sure why, seeing as I'm not a big fan of the Faust story, but something about Little Shop (the original film, the play and the movie musical) just gets under my skin, and I feel the need to devour all information about it I can.
5) The Evil Dead - I didn't really start watching horror movies 'til I was about seventeen. I started with Halloween and (a lot of horror fans get mad at me for saying this) it left me relatively unimpressed. So I figured I needed something nastier and jumped right into "the ultimate experience in grueling terror," a movie my brother had been trying for years to convince me to watch. The Evil Dead is a low budget gorefest that I can't say enough nice things about. It's been overshadowed by its more popular sequels but for the life of me I cannot figure out why.
4) A Nightmare On Elm Street - Yes! Even when I was too afraid to watch the movies, I was a Freddy fan (thanks largely to Robert Englund's performance as Blackie on Nightmare Cafe; my brother informed me "That guy is Freddy Krueger" and once I got over the shock I just decided Freddy was the slasher villain for me) and I always knew that Nancy Thompson was the ultimate horror heroine. She doesn't just run and scream like an idiot, she takes the threat seriously and does everything within her power to kick its ass. It's hard to find a 1980s slasher movie that's as intelligent and well made as A Nightmare On Elm Street.
3) Clue - Clue was my favorite movie for most of my life (from age five 'til about nineteen, with a brief hiatus in the mid-'90s so Batman Forever could have a turn) and I still consider it a perfect comedy. It has everything I like: slapstick, an ensemble cast, quick-paced dialogue and awesome costumes (that sort of thing matters to me). I have a total weakness for murder mystery comedies and Clue is still the best.
2) Repo! The Genetic Opera - I contend that Repo! is the best movie I have ever seen. It's beautiful to look at, the music is fantastic and the story is solid. I still think it's an absolute shame that it's lumped in with The Rocky Horror Picture Show and has been given the shadowcast treatment. It's so much better than that and it deserves better than that. Shadowcasts and shouting insults at the screen should be reserved for movies that (like The Rocky Horror Picture Show) fucking suck and can't stand on their own. Repo! is not one of those movies.
1) House Of 1000 Corpses - Everybody knows this about me. Everybody saw this coming. House Of 1000 Corpses makes me happy. I don't feel the need to get into it any further. I just love it is all.

And, because I can't make any list without adding a couple of Honorable Mention style lists (I really can't; I think it's the same part of my brain that makes me physically unable to only make one mix CD at a time), here are a couple Honorable Mention lists (in alphabetical order, because I don't really like ranking things). First, my Top Ten Documentaries And Educational Films:

1) American: The Bill Hicks Story - Bill Hicks is my favorite comedian so it's not much of a surprise I'd love a documentary about him, especially one as well made as this.
2) Donald In Mathmagic Land - There are only two problems with this movie: it's only about half an hour long and it's so entertaining I never actually learned anything about math from it.
3) Fuck - I'm a big fan of profanity and vulgarity, and this is a documentary about one of my favorite curse words. Good stuff.
4) Everyday Sunshine: The Story Of Fishbone - Sure, it needed infinitely less Gwen Stefani and much, much more Eugene Hutz, but it's a fascinating documentary about a band I really should have been a fan of a long time ago.
5) Gogol Bordello Nonstop - I fucking love Gogol Bordello. And this movie makes me want to get off my ass and go live my life. Which is probably why I don't watch it more often; I don't know how to get started getting off my ass and living my life, and then I just get frustrated. Still, though, it's great.
6) Hemo The Magnificent - Did you know Frank Capra directed educational films in the '50s? He did. Hemo The Magnificent is about the heart and the circulatory system and was first shown to me by Mike Phirman (important because he is one of the co-writers of El Corazon, a song about the heart and circulatory system, in Spanish!), and much like Donald In Mathmagic Land, it's almost too entertaining to be educational.
7) Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy - A four hour documentary about the making of all eight Nightmare On Elm Street movies? Yes, please!
8) Nightmares In Red, White And Blue - I love documentaries about horror movies. I think the reason this particular one made the list is because I could remember the name of it off the top of my head. There are others that are just as good. (I think another one is called Going To Pieces.)
9) That's Entertainment 3 - I like all the That's Entertainment movies, but the third one is the one I've seen the most and it's the only one I own on DVD, mainly because I like the way it's structured a bit more than the first two.
10) Who Is Harry Nilsson And Why Is Everybody Talkin' About Him? - I'm getting tired of typing. And I, like, just wrote a review of this movie a couple months ago. Go read the review if you're curious.

And now, the Top Ten Movies I Really Wanted To Put In My Top Fifty List But I've Only Seen Each Of Them Once (I Do Own All Of Them) And Just Thought That Wouldn't Be Fair To The Movies I've Seen Multiple Times:

1) All Night Long - Patrick McGoohan plays the villain in a 1960s jazz version of Othello. It's highly entertaining but I don't know how close it is to the play (I've never seen or read Othello). My guess is: not very. But who cares? It's still a cool movie.
2) Fright Night - I like both the original and the remake of Fright Night but if you made me choose, I'd have to say I like the original a little better. I've actully been meaning to rewatch it for a while now. It's just a fun movie, and I hear tell it singlemoviedly revived the vampire genre. (Whether or not that's a good thing is a matter of opinion.)
3) Gremlins 2: The New Batch - I've never seen Gremlins and I don't care to. From what I've heard Gremlins 2 is sillier, funnier and far more suited to my taste. So I'll stick with my sequel, thank you.
4) Hatchet - Just your average stalk 'n slash, with an emphasis on inventive kills and crazy gore. My kind of movie. (I really ought to watch Hatchet 2 one of these days.)
5) Ink - Ink is an incredibly serious and moving art film, which sounds like nothing I like, but there are exceptions to every rule and Ink is so well put together that I still contend it's one of the best movies I've ever seen. I even forgive it for making me cry the whole way through. It's that good.
6) Killing Zoe - The most recent addition to my movie collection, a pantheon of drugs, violence and really funny dialogue. I have no idea why Jean-Hugues Anglade's character isn't on t-shirts 'cause I totally want one.
7) Oscar - Who knew Sylvester Stallone was hilarious? Oscar just makes me happy. Why doesn't this movie have a bigger fanbase?
8) Shoot 'Em Up - Yet another one of those "guy movies" that I love. The only times the violence stops are the times when Paul Giamatti needs to go into one of his villain speeches. In fact, there are a lot of similarities between Shoot 'Em Up and Drive Angry (a baby in peril and a shootout-during-sex scene being the most obvious).
9) The Brothers Grimm - I can't believe I didn't see this in the theaters. There's something about Terry Gilliam's work that is so magical to me, and I feel like Tim Burton gets a lot of the accolades that should be going to Gilliam.
10) The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus - I mean, seriously, if Tim Burton had made Imaginarium it wouldn't have been nearly as pretty or fascinating as it ended up being in Gilliam's hands.

I am so sick of writing, you guys. Why did you let me begin this ridiculous endeavor?

End of line.
-Sally