Reaction to Nightmare On Elm Street article in Fangoria # 292, April 2010

I have tried to keep an open mind about the Nightmare On Elm Street remake. I've been such a champion for Rob Zombie's Halloween films that I feel like I have no right to bitch when someone remakes a movie I actually like. I want to go into Remake On Elm Street as unbiased as humanly possible.
I am, however, an emotional creature who is easily offended (actually, I'm not easily offended so much as I'm extremely offended by specific things).
So maybe I shouldn't have tried to read the Fangoria article about Remake On Elm Street. I didn't finish it. I got stuck on some quotes, one from the director and several from one of the actors. I'm going to give my two cents on them now.
I'm hoping if I get this off my chest I'll feel better and will be able to go into the movie theater in a couple weeks with that open mind I've been trying to have.

Quote # 1, from director Samuel Bayer: "I told all my cast and crew that we must do with Freddy what Christopher Nolan did with Batman. I'm trying to make a dark and serious film and I hope I'm achieving that. One of the most extraordinary aspects of Dark Knight is the way it integrates Batman into a believable world and I want to do just the same with Freddy."
Oh, you mean like how Wes Craven did with New Nightmare? And, my mom's complaint with that quote is why is he giving Christopher Nolan credit for Frank Miller's work? I explained to her that it's because Christopher Nolan made the movie version of Frank Miller's The Dark Knight and she kind of harumphed. So there that is.

Quote # 2, from actor Thomas Dekker (the rest of the quotes are from him): "I hate Hostel. ... The violence is pointless and grotesque, and the movie invites you to enjoy it. ... On the other hand, films like Martyrs ... use the violence in emotional and intelligent ways. ... But you aren't enjoying in any way the cruelty suffered by the characters. You feel devastated about it."
Okay. I haven't seen Hostel or Martyrs, so I can't argue his examples. What I can argue, though, is: I don't want to go to a horror movie to see realistic, devastating violence! I don't want to feel people's suffering! I don't want to leave a movie theater feeling depressed! I don't go see war movies because war is a real thing that happens every day. I go see slasher movies because I don't know anybody who was attacked in their dream by a dead guy with a razor glove. Yes, violence in real life is horrible, and I don't enjoy it one bit. I do enjoy it in the movies because it's catharsis and it isn't real, just like explosions in real life can be awful things but in action movies they're nothing but awesome. These people are actors and they're not actually being hurt. So I'm allowed to enjoy the movie. I can't take myself out of a realistic movie enough to enjoy it. I hate that everyone seems to be leaning more toward "darker and edgier" in their movies lately. I don't like "darker and edgier." I also feel the need to point out that, according to what I've read, Wes Craven still thinks the original Nightmare should have had the happy ending, and he's not pleased with the nonsensical twist ending New Line foisted upon him. I don't know why I thought that fact seemed relevant, but it did.

Quote # 3: "Generally, I don't like remakes. I consider myself a true horror fan, and those are often missed opportunities to do something new - or worse, sacreligious ripoffs of cult favorites. But A Nightmare On Elm Street is different."
Said the guy who's getting a big, fat paycheck from it. He goes on to say he's not just promoting a movie because he's in it. But you know what, dude? Everyone reading this magazine considers themselves true horror fans. And I, for one, don't like your attitude. I don't like being talked down to. Fans will be the judge of whether or not a remake is good. And be prepared to fight your battle, man. Because I was fighting on the Pro-Halloween Remake side pretty much alone, and I lost. I still like the movie, but the majority of the fans didn't. It makes me very sad, but that's the way it is.

Quote # 4: "I signed on for this movie because the original, while it's still a classic, failed, in my opinion, to take full advantage of its own subject. We're talking about an ex-child molester who can penetrate your dreams. And what Samuel Bayer is aiming for is to go very deep into the character's psychology without using one-liners. And we've done just that."
Okay, you know the original had almost no budget, right? It's hard to reach whatever potential you, some douchecanoe in the future, thought the movie should have when there's no money to get there (nor did they have the money for psychics to read the future to add whatever stuff you thought the movie needed). Second of all, Freddy Krueger is not a child molester. Maybe in the new one he is, but in the original series he was never, not once, referred to as a child molester. He was a child murderer. Both crimes are reprehensible, but he was only guilty of one of them. Do your fucking research. (Editor's Note: I should point out that, in the original script, Freddy was a child molestor, but they took that plot point out before filming. I'm of the opinion that, because it wasn't in the movies, it isn't canon.) I just watched all seven movies a couple weeks ago. No molesting. Sorry. Last, the one liners didn't show up until later in the series. Wes Craven hated the silly direction Freddy went in. Have you even watched the original or are you basing your arguments on the sequels and reputation?

Quote # 5: "What Jackie [Earl Haley] has brought to the character is marvelous. ... He prepared for the role with a very serious approach. ... He was human once, but not a regular Joe ... so Jackie knew that understanding the character was the key to not being one-dimensional."
And Robert Englund didn't? Bite me, kid.

Okay. Thank you for letting me rant.
I'm hoping my distaste for these quotes (and for Thomas Dekker in general; I think I want to throw tomatoes at that kid) won't make me decide going in to hate Remake On Elm Street. I want to judge it on its own merits, which is going to be hard enough to do, since I love the original so much. I guess now I know how all those Halloween fans felt.
I will do my best to not throw a hissy fit and to, instead, just remind myself that it's not like Samuel Bayer's going to go around and destroy all the copies of the original movie.

End of line.
-Sally