Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Night Of The Living Dead 3-D

I watched it on Sunday night and basically completely forgot that I'd watched it until Monday evening. That could probably be the review all by itself. But I'm going to keep going.
Except I don't know what to say.
It sort of follows the same story as the original (all the characters have the same names as characters in the original), but only if the original took place in a hippie commune kind of house where everyone's stoned and watching Night Of The Living Dead on TV.
Wait, huh?
But even the one really, really high guy who actually sees the parallels between the movie he's watching and what's going on around him doesn't mention "Hey, we all have the same names as the people in the TV." He mostly just constantly asked to be reassured that Barb was just trying to scare him and there aren't really zombies in the cemetery.
Also, these people live in a world where they're aware of what zombies are but they don't know the Two Basic Rules Of Zombie:
1) Shoot them in the head (I believe the phrasing from the original Night Of The Living Dead was "kill the head and the body will die").
2) If a zombie bites you, you become a zombie.
No, that first one doesn't seem to come up at all and the second one has to be explained to them by Plot Exposition Guy, who shows up about twenty minutes from the end.
Oh, and one last thing that just irks me: When a couple of the characters are arming themselves, one guy asks the other if he knows how to fire the gun and the second guy says something like "Are you kidding me? I grew up on video games." So did I, but I don't know how to fire a gun! I know how to fire a Zapper, but that just shoots light and doesn't have any kickback. If I tried to fire a gun I'd probably end up breaking my nose on it. This guy's an idiot.
Everybody in the movie's an idiot, really.
Most of the movie just seems like a bunch of college kids decided to remake Night Of The Living Dead, and they got it sort of accurate. A bunch of people are holed up in a house arguing how to deal with their zombie situation. Then, midway through production, they managed to sign Sid Haig and decided to change the ending of the movie in order to give him something to do.
And it wasn't really terrible, but it wasn't all that good, either.

End of line.

No comments: