The Raven

Well, that was certainly a movie.
I can't do it, you guys. I can't write this review. I don't know what to say. I can't be nice because it wasn't all that great. Or even good. Or even bad. It was just a movie. Entertaining enough while you're watching it but most likely to be forgotten almost as soon as it's over. Nothing about it is particularly impressive. It's just all-around average.
But it's so sincere, you guys. I can't say anything mean about The Raven because it's trying so hard. It means well. It's like the annoying younger sibling of movies. It wants to tag along and hang out but it's just not there yet. I want to tell it that it's going to be okay.
Yesterday my friend Lauren was talking about John Cusack and how the whole point of him is to be generic and forgettable. Which sounds really sad but, to be honest, she might be right. I know I've seen him in movies. I'm certain I have. But the only ones I can think of are The Raven (because I just got home from seeing it) and Shadows And Fog (because I saw it a month or so ago and I remember being kind of impressed by how good I thought he was in it, thus backing up his reputation of forgettableness).
I know I saw High Fidelity but the only thing I remember about that movie is Jack Black mentions The Prisoner at one point, and I saw about half of Better Off Dead but the only thing I remember about that movie is dancing cheeseburgers. I may not have seen any other John Cusack movies.
I have some friends who have swoony, teenagery crushes on him because they saw Say Anything at an impressionable age, but I never saw that movie so I missed the boat on thinking John Cusack is dreamy.
That is, until the scene early in The Raven where he's drunkenly ranting and raving in a bar, announcing to anyone who will bother to listen how famous he is, and challenging everyone to finish the line "Quoth the raven..." In that scene (and a few others in the movie) he hams it up something fierce, and I have a horrible weakness for hammy actors (Matt Berry and Robert Englund are my two examples). No idea why, I just love me a good overactor. So in that moment I suddenly understood why Jo has floaty pink hearts for John Cusack. (Outside of that scene, the attraction went away, though, so it was a fleeting love.)
A lot of the cast of The Raven looked familiar, but Brendan Gleeson and Kevin R. McNally were the only actors I know for sure who they are. Jo said the chick who played the love interest was the title "She" in the movie She's Out Of My League, but based on this movie I'd have to say she's not out of anybody's league. Not that she's ugly or anything, she's just unbelieveably average in all ways. I think I'd be more likely to recognize William Hurt than her.
It made me want to read more Edgar Allen Poe stories. I've read The Raven (which I'm tired of) and The Cask Of Amantillado (which I love) and the movie mentioned several more and piqued my interest.
I really want to say something nice about The Raven. It tried so hard, and it really meant it. I love it for its genuineness (which is a word now) if not for its story and acting and soforth. And the costumes were pretty cool. And there was one gory scene, I guess so they could try to draw in a horror-fan crowd. It's not going to be enough but, again, I think that was its attempt to keep up with the big kids.
I feel like if The Raven were a person it would be ignored as it stopped to tie its shoes and then have to spend the next five minutes chasing after the group, shouting "Hey, guys, wait up!" I so badly want to give it a hug.

End of line.
-Sally