John Constantine can see scary demon shit and has been using this ability to try to keep the world demon-free, in the hopes that it'll redeem him from a vague Something Terrible he did when he was younger. Rachel Weisz's sister Rachel Weisz jumped off a building a couple days ago and needs Constantine to help her sister's soul get to Heaven.
Tilda Swinton and Peter Stormare are badasses who aren't in the movie enough. Occasioncally Shia LaBeouf (is that how that's spelled?) and Djimon Hounsou show up, too.
Constantine is dark, fiery, CGI-filled, Keanu Reeves-y fun-filled goodtimes. The plot exists and I think I followed it but we all know the plot is not why I tuned in. I tuned in for the dark, CGI fire explosion nonsense and Tilda Swinton being a badass.
I liked Constantine. Don't know if I'll watch it again but I wouldn't object if someone put it on. It's fun. I like fun.
End of line.