The 2011 Movie Countdown

Well, this year is almost over. It started out good but the past couple of months have been crapballs and I'm looking forward to next year, when the last month or so will bring armageddon to the Aztecs or something.
I'd been planning on writing a sort of look back at what this year has been like for me, but I don't remember most of it. Drag queens gave me a makeover, I self-published a book (it's called Sunny Ella, which is a stupid title but you should read it anyway), I didn't go to nearly as many concerts as I would have liked but I did go to a few, I was a counselor at my friends' Unitarian church camp again, two of my best friends got married, my grandpa died and I read more than I think I have in recent years.
I realized last night that television holds almost no interest for me anymore. I used to be one of those people who had to have it on almost all the time but lately I'm happier ignoring it. The only thing I watch with any regularity is The Simpsons. I didn't even watch the second half of season four of Leverage because I just didn't feel like watching television.
Anyway, that's neither here nor there.
The reason I've really gathered me all here today is to count down the top twenty movies of 2011. Why twenty? Because that's how many new movies I saw this year. (It was nineteen until very late last night; more on that when we get to it.)
Further ado is for suckers:

20) Puss In Boots - Looking back on my initial review, sometimes I think I may have been a bit harsh on Puss In Boots. I mean, as people like to point out to me, it is just a kids movie. Then I remember that's the whole attitude I have a problem with. "It's just a kids movie" shouldn't be a phrase. Why do little kids have to get shafted in the movie selection department? They're not idiots and they deserve better than this.
19) The Bleeding House - I actually only watched this movie last night because it was released in 2011 and I needed a twentieth movie for this list (I wanted it to be even), which I was determined to write today for some reason. It was terrible. I've already pretty much forgotten I saw it.
18) Hanna - The only good things about this movie are the first twenty minutes and the fact that every time I see the title I get the Freelance Whales song Hannah running through my head.
17) Cowboys And Aliens - Cowboys And Aliens was dumb fun the first time, although even then I realized everything involving the token chick was eyerollingly cliched. The problem was seeing it again, which is when I noticed it's impossible to give a damn about any character in this movie that isn't played by Sam Rockwell (which is most of them). And speaking of characters I don't like...
16) Thor - had several of them. Especially Thor. But especially Natalie Portman. But especially Thor. You know what? Call it a draw. I hate them both. Too bad they didn't make a movie called Loki And Thor's Four Warrior Friends Whose Names I Forgot. That movie would have kicked ass.
15) Scream 4 - Okay, I'm going to say this again because I don't think Kevin Williamson heard me the first time: Peeping Tom is not the correct answer to "What was the movie that started the slasher craze?" for several reasons. REASON ONE: The slasher craze didn't really begin until the late nineteen seventies and early nineteen eighties, after several other highly influential and far more "slashery" movies had been released. REASON TWO: There is no true answer to that question; the entire subject is debateable. REASON THREE: Peeping Tom and Psycho came out the same year and, while Psycho was a huge hit, Peeping Tom destroyed Michael Powell's career and wasn't given accolades until at least a decade (probably longer) after the damage was done. There are a lot of other reasons why I didn't like Scream 4, but that one damn little trivia question and it's snotty-ass answer makes me want a backalley boxing match with Kevin Williamson, where I will win with the power of nerdgirl rage.
14) Kung Fu Panda 2 - Sure, it was uneven. Sure, it made me cry. Sure, it barely had a plot and sure, I probably should have gotten as mad at this for being insulting to childrens' intelligence as I did at Puss In Boots. But for some reason I can't. I don't know if it's the awesome Gary Oldman villain or the fact that at least it was well made enough to stir up my emotions and make me weepy, but I just don't have that vitriol for Kung Fu Panda 2. It doesn't deserve my anger.
13) A Very Harold And Kumar 3-D Christmas - Wafflebot!!! Everything else in the movie (about half of which is funny and half of which is not) is completely irrelevant because Wafflebot.
12) Arthur - It's amazing how high up on this list this one ended up being, considering I only went to see it 'cause Lauren wanted to go, Russell Brand is by reputation the most irritating man alive (a reputation not helped by the fact that he married the most irritating woman alive) and I generally hate romantic comedies. Arthur was cute, though. Russell Brand was actually charming and very funny (which I was not expecting) and I'd even watch it again if circumstances led me to that point.
11) Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides - Yes, it is the worst of the Pirates movies. Yes, I want to beat that damn mermaid subplot to death with a shovel for being pointless and grinding the movie to a screeching halt. Yes, I hate Penelope Cruz's character for actually being a screeching halt. However, there is still a lot of good, fun stuff in this movie. Barbossa, obviously, and The Spaniard (or whatever his nonname was). And Blackbeard and Gibbs and Jack Sparrow and Scrum ... basically every part of this movie that doesn't involve any form of woman is awesome. A woman's place is outside of the pirate movie, apparently. ... Look, all I'm saying is quit putting a bunch of boringass romance in my action movies!
10) Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop - I didn't read the thread because I didn't care to read a bunch of other people arguing (which is what I'm sure it was), but the other day on IMDB I saw a message board post titled "Conan seemed like kind of a dick" or something like that. I want to address that here: Yes, he did. However, name me one person who isn't at any point "kind of a dick." Nobody is one hundred percent nice all the time. When you see Conan O'Brien hosting a television show, he's being paid to be nice to people. That's his job. No matter how much of himself he brings to the role, he's still playing the part of talk show host and talk show hosts have to play nice. In this documentary, he's not playing that part. He's simply being himself. And, like all people, he has moments of jerkitude and, like a lot of people, he has kind of a mean sense of humor. So when he's pretending to fire his staff for bringing him fish with butter sauce or when he's complaining that he has to talk to so many strangers when all he wants to do is relax, that's not "being a dick." That's "being a person."
9) Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy - The fact that I didn't understand this movie and yet still think about it says quite a lot. I think I want to understand it. Maybe I should see it again. (I'd also like to point out that both Kung Fu Panda 2 and Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy have Gary Oldman in them.)
8) Everyday Sunshine: The Story Of Fishbone - Okay, I guess technically this one was released in 2010 (at least at movie festivals) but I saw it in the theater in 2011 so it counts. And it singlehandedly made me a Fishbone fan. I only wish Gwen Stefani and Eugene Hutz could have swapped amounts of screentime.
7) X-Men First Class - It's weird, but as I get closer to the number one spot on this list, I have less and less to say about the movies. It's really hard for me to write much of anything at all unless something pisses me off, apparently.
6) Horrible Bosses - I don't actually remember much of Horrible Bosses but I do remember laughing all the way through. And I love Charlie Day.
5) Fright Night - One of the few remakes done right (yeah, there are flaws but compared to A Remake On Elm Street, this movie is brilliant). The moment they release a "double feature" DVD of both the original and this version of Fright Night, I'm buying it. (I'd also like to point out that both Horrible Bosses and Fright Night have Colin Farrell in them.)
4) Hugo - I think the only reason Hugo isn't slightly higher on the list (in other words, in the number three spot 'cause two and one were reserved a while ago) is because it does have those chase scenes where I feel like it falls down and becomes a bore.
3) Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows - On the other hand, I was not bored once by Sherlock Holmes. Of course, I've only seen it once so far. The second time might have some slow bits. On the other hand, I've also seen Hugo once, too and I noticed the slow bits there. (I'd also like to point out that both Hugo and Sherlock Holmes feature Jude Law in rare instances where he doesn't skeeve me out.)
2) Drive - I considered putting Drive in the number one spot. It totally blew me away. I'm a little bit obsessed with it because it was just so enthralling.
1) Insidious - However, I have to be honest with myself: I just enjoyed Insidious more. Rare these days is the horror movie that actually scares me. I got almost no sleep the first time I saw Insidious. Every time I closed my eyes, all I could see were those doll people.

End of line.
-Sally