My 481st post

I haven't watched many movies lately. I've been watching all The Cinema Snob videos in order and the watching of actual movies has pretty much been put on hold until I've caught up with those. Any time not devoted to that project is taken up by The Aquabats! Super Show! and all the awesomeness that contains. So movies are on the backburner and, therefore, so is this blog.
So I figured, in the interest of posting something, I'd post a retrospective: basically, I'm going to look through the titles of all my past posts and write a sentence or two about what I think of those movies now.
Enjoy?

Halloween Two - I still love this movie but haven't watched it (the theatrical cut, anyway) since it was in theaters.
Frankenstein - I stand by my assertion that Victor Frankenstein is a whiner.
Garden State - Wow, I spent a lot of that review complaining about what Zach Braff looks like. I really should have focused more on how terrible his movie is.
Session 9 - I have fond memories of this one but I always forget that it exists until someone mentions it. Then I get a nice little "Oh yeah, that was a great movie!" moment.
Malevolence - That's a review I wrote before I ever started this blog. And I still don't like the movie but man that review is clunky.
The Monster Squad - I just bought this movie on DVD for a dollar at a thrift store. That is what's known as a wise investment.
Taking Woodstock - This was a movie I really wanted to like because I had a big crush on Demetri Martin at the time. And I do still think he did a good job in the movie (and I still like his comedy, though I'm not really attracted to him anymore) but I can't imagine actually having to watch it again.
Saludos Amigos - This one is okay but it's no Three Caballeros. I like the Goofy cartoon, though.
The Haunted World Of El Superbeasto - I give this movie a lot of shit and I feel kind of bad about that. It's dumb but fun and the Hard 'N Phirm songs are great.
The Informant! - Ha! I forgot this movie was a thing. I think I liked it? I don't remember much about it and I kinda remember it not really sitting well with me but I'm also pretty sure it was pretty funny.
The Wizard Of Gore - Still haven't seen the original. Still think this remake was pretty disappointing. Far too bloodless for a movie called The Wizard Of Gore.
And Another Thing... - As far as I'm concerned this is not a real Hitchhiker's Guide book and I will never read it again.
Book Of Blood - This was pretty spooky but it's another movie I barely remember. (I get the feeling I'm going to be saying that a lot in this post.)
Trick 'R Treat - I really wanted to like this movie so I think I just claimed that I did. But in reality I like the idea of this movie a lot more than the movie itself.
Paranormal Activity - One of my Top Three Least Favorite Movies Of All Time (along with The Squid And The Whale and the Red that starts with Brian Cox's dog being murdered).
New York, I Love You - The main thing I remember about this movie is spacing out and daydreaming about how many of the stories would have been better if they'd starred Eugene Hutz. I'm not one for romances, though.
The Hills Run Red - William Sadler was great but the movie itself was pretty blah.
Skeleton Crew - I think at the time I liked it better than The Hills Run Red but now I barely remember this one but have a few fond memories of The Hills Run Red. Maybe I should watch them back to back again and see how I feel now.
Kronk's New Groove - I'll stick to The Emperor's New Groove, thank you very much. (Dear lord, I have been watching too much Cinema Snob.)
Dracula: The Un-Dead - Mentioning this book is still a great way to send me straight to Rageville. Just 'cause you're Bram Stoker's grandnephew (or whatever) doesn't mean you're allowed to throw out everything from his original novel that you find is inconvenient for your stupid Dracula fanfiction.
Fantastic Mr. Fox - This one was pretty good but was overshadowed by the Dethklok show I went to right after I saw it.
The Prisoner - We've all heard my assessment but it's the best I can do: Patrick McGoohan only died so he'd have a grave to turn over in when this aired.
Larger Than Life In 3-D - Only two Gogol Bordello songs? Boy is this movie not worth it.
Home Movie - The last ten minutes or so were pretty entertaining.
Nine - I love some of the songs and I like that the movie is colorful and sparkly. But plotwise, eh.
Book Of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 - I thought this movie was a lot of fun but I also really don't like The Blair Witch Project so, you know, keep that in mind.
Sherlock Holmes - So fucking fun!
The Reposession Mambo - I did a lot of comparison to Repo! The Genetic Opera when I read this book and, to be honest, there was enough in common to draw a lot of comparisons between the two. But there was also enough not in common that I could judge this book on its own merits. And I came to the conclusion that it was pretty okay. It kepts me invested through the whole thing (I have a hard time reading fiction) and I still think about it from time to time. Hated the ending, though.
Night Of The Lepus - I wanted to like this movie more than I did. The bunnies were cute.
What A Girl Wants - Either I was feeling very generous that day or it was just preferrable to the other movie I watched that day (see next entry). Or it really was just better than I was expecting it to be, though I bet if I watched it right now I wouldn't like it too much.
Julie And Julia - Yugh. Needs twice as much Julia and zero Julie. This was the movie that made me realize I can't stand Amy Adams.
Murder By Death - I love this movie. Ensemble cast murder mysteries are my favorite comedy subgenre.
Feast Two: Sloppy Seconds - If you make a horribly violent, gory horror movie with a baby in the center of it, it's pretty much a guarantee it'll just upset me and I will hate it.
Feast Three: The Happy Finish - Much better than Feast Two but still a big disappointment compared to Feast.
CSI Miami: LA - I only reviewed it 'cause Rob Zombie directed it. I taped it, too, so I still have it somewhere. But it was (as far as I could tell, since I don't watch the show) a pretty standard CSI Miami episode and there's not a lot else I can say about it.
Repo! The Genetic Opera - My second favorite movie of all time. While I can find flaws in it, they don't matter because it's so wonderful.
Ink - I loved Ink and would love to show it to someone because it's just interesting and visually stunning but it's also so serious and made me cry so much that I'm not sure I'll ever get around to making my friends watch it.
Phantom Of The Mall: Eric's Revenge - Well, it had Pauly Shore in it and dippy '80s teenagers. And apparently it's a pretty rare find. Maybe I shouldn't have donated it to a thrift store.
Hollywood Monster: A Walk Down Elm Street With The Man Of Your Dreams - Yet more evidence that Robert Englund is as rad as I've always assumed.
A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors - Love it.
A Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master - Like it.
A Nightmare On Elm Street 5: The Dream Child - Possibly my least favorite in the series.
Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare - Too goofy and cartoony for me to not enjoy it.
The Princess And The Frog - How do I not own this movie?!
Harpo Speaks! - So good. Harpo Marx was a really cool guy.
The Brothers Grimm - The visuals and the stuff that revolves around the Grimm brothers is fantastic. I could've done without the stuff about the miliary but oh well, what're you gonna do?
Tobe Hooper's Night Terrors - I haven't bothered to watch this one again even though Robert Englund was very entertaining in it. I just didn't like the lead actress. Or the plot.
Dance Macabre - This is one of those movies that I wish had more of a cult following. I sure as hell loved it.
Dead And Buried - This was a good one. The plot was solid and I couldn't predict what was coming, which is a sadly rare thing.
Meet The Deedles - I forgot this movie was a thing.
Black Swarm - This is one of the better made for SciFi Network movies I've seen. Not enough Robert Englund in it, though.
Trapped Ashes - Anthology movies are almost always disappointing and Trapped Ashes was no exception. I just bought The ABCs Of Death, I hope it bucks the trend.
Wish You Were Dead - Dreadful.
Gogol Bordello Nonstop - This was a good one, though I think it frustrated me because I'm not Gogol Bordello.
House On Haunted Hill - A great, classic horror, lots of fun. Highly recommended.
Chaplin - It was good but I barely remember any of it.
Killer Pad - Dumb fun.
Wishmaster - It's a shame not a lot of people seem to talk about this movie anymore. It's really, really good.
Windfall - All I remember is that Robert Englund was dubbed with someone else's voice and I couldn't focus on the movie because he sounded so wrong.
Fangoria's Weekend Of Horrors - Less a movie than a promotional video.
Horror Hotel - I had to look at my review to remember what movie it was and even then I barely recall it.
His Name Was Jason - I'm such a sucker for documentaries about horror movies and this is no exception. Good stuff.
Heckler - I ought to watch this one again because a friend of mine just saw it and was talking about a part where a comedian smashed a heckler in the face with a guitar. And I don't remember that part but I sorely wish I did.
Deadly Vision - Meh.
Innerspace - Proof that some movies are better left in one's distant memories.
The Stendahl Syndrome - Boy did this movie not live up to my expectations.
The Phantom Of The Opera - I prefer it as a play. The opening credits were well done and I recall really liking how they did The Point Of No Return but I recently rewatched just that scene and apparently it's not as powerful when you watch that scene on its own.
Hatchet - Victor Crowley lives!
Halloween 2 Unrated Director's Cut - I really ought to watch this again. And the theatrical version.
Red - Possibly my least favorite movie of all time. I want to find everybody involved with the production and ask them "what the hell?!"
Heartstopper - Didn't have enough Robert Englund in it.
Nobody Knows Anything - Dreadful.
Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer - Had some good moments but did not live up to the title.
The Frighteners - Love it.
A Nightmare On Elm Street - Terrible remake, mainly because of Rooney Mara's arrogant refusal to act. Also the script wasn't great. Jackie Earl Haley was a good Freddy, though. He deserved a better shot at it.
Suspiria - I was half asleep when I watched it so I don't remember much about it beyond how pretty it was. Probably should watch it again.
The Velocity Of Gary* *(Not His Real Name) - Well, Vincent D'Onofrio was in it a lot so it was worth it on some level.
Iron Man 2 - Fun stuff but I'm kinda over superheroes right now (well, non-Aquabat superheroes, anyway) so I don't have much nice to say about it today.
You Can't Take It With You - Another instance where I like the play better than the movie but the movie is still really good.
The Machine Girl - This one was pretty rad.
Matinee - I love Joe Dante.
The Screwfly Solution - Though he kinda dropped the ball on this one.
In Dreams - Not good.
Killer Tongue - This was a weird one but a lot of fun. I wonder if I could convince the Cinema Snob to review it. That'd probably be pretty funny.
Fuck - A documentary about profanity. So my cup of tea.
Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy - Oh my god what a wonderful documentary. So thorough, so respectful. Four hours devoted to my favorite slasher series. Love it.
Night Of The Living Dead 3-D - Not watching this one again.
The Great Smokey Roadblock - Love the cast, which is enough for me. I'd watch it again.
976-EVIL - For some reason I still think this is a good candidate for a stage musical. Something about the frozen house at the end just speaks to me.
Slashed Dreams - Oh, alternate title to capitalize on the fact that Robert Englund's in this movie. You're not enough to make it not boring. (This is another one I'd like to see the Cinema Snob tackle.)
Possessed - I remember the cover of this movie more than I remember the movie itself.
Python - Didn't like it.
Perfect Target - Another one where I had to look at the review to recall what the movie was. And even then I'm not sure I know what movie it is.
X-Men - Okay, the X-Men are another group of superheroes I still enjoy.
Surf's Up - Way better than I was expecting.
The Mosquito Coast - I didn't like it.
Toy Story 3 - The only Toy Story movie I like but that's not necessarily saying much.
Despicable Me - Way better than I was expecting.
Urban Legends: Final Cut - Made film school look like, you know, school, thus destroying a faint dream I'd had of going to one.
Urban Legends: Bloody Mary - Somewhat forgettable but oh my god that song! So gorgeous.
Bloodletting - Pretty entertaining but the ending was so dumb it tainted my opinion of the whole movie.
Desire - Not even Vincent D'Onofrio being handsome could save this movie.
Inception - I don't really remember this movie.
Halloween: The Happy Haunting Of America - Forgettable.
The Room - The Nostalgia Critic's review of The Room is better.
Wishmaster: The Prophecy Fulfilled - How the mighty have fallen.
The A Team - Every time I see this movie for sale at Target I consider buying it and then I don't.
Rob Roy - Not enough Tim Roth.
Audition - Didn't affect me the way it seemed to affect most people who've seen it. I'm kinda bummed about that. Movies don't scare me often enough.
House - Ha, I forgot this movie was a thing.
The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus - Tom Waits is so suave and the visuals are stunning. Like it a lot overall but kind of wonder if it would've been better if Heath Ledger had lived.
FearDotCom - The only thing I remember about this movie is the title.
The People Under The Stairs - This is such a strange movie. I love it.
Kung Fu Hustle - I liked the opening but it pretty much loses me after the awesome top hatted hatchet guy dance.
Fright Night - Lots of fun, like it a lot.
Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs - Possibly the best animated movie of the past ten years. Lord and Miller are amazing.
Little Shop Of Horrors alternate ending - Oh my god.
The Simpsons: An Uncensored, Unauthorized History - Way too much editorializing from the author.
Deathtrap - Not a comedy like the box implied. I actually kind of hated it.
Phantasm - Kind of disappointing but I read so much about it before I saw it that that was probably inevitable.
Saw VI - One of the better Saw sequels but it's no Saw III.
2001 Maniacs: Field Of Screams - Doesn't really pick up 'til the last half hour or so but I really love a few of the actors in it.
Friday The 13th - One of the better slasher remakes.
The Burning - Nice and bloody. Good stuff.
Return Of The Living Dead 3 - All I really remember about it is extreme close ups of the zombie chick piercing herself. No bueno.
Babysitter Wanted - Really tense and entertaining.
Final Destination - Really bummed me out. I had planned on watching the whole series but I never made it past the first one.
The Alphabet Killer - Somehow I ended up seeing this lousy thing twice.
Kung Fu Panda - Better than I thought it would be.
The Wizard Of Speed And Time - Had some fun moments but overall I barely remember it. I only watched it 'cause Mike Phirman told me about it once.
Shocker - In retrospect, I was pretty harsh on this movie. It was fun.
The Dark Half - The only part of this movie I remember is "What's going on out here?" "Murder. You want some?"
Life Or Something Like It - Awful.
Phantom Of The Opera - Boring.
Hellraiser - My mind just went blank. I have no idea what I think of Hellraiser. Guess I'll have to watch it again.
Steel Trap - Had its moments. Not great but not awful.
Caprica - I don't think I finished this one.
Inside - Never again. I can't say it's a bad movie, I could even recommend it to certain people. But, no. Oh my god no. Never again.
Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer - This one didn't stick with me like I thought it would. It was disturbing but it doesn't come to mind as readily as other, similar movies.
Slaughterhouse - Had to read the review to remember what movie it was.
An Extremely Goofy Movie - No thank you.
Sorority Row - Lots of fun. I hope to see the movie it's a remake of someday.
Willard - The scene with the cat upset me and that's all I remember about the movie.
The Donner Party - Yawn. What was I thinking with that huge Christian Kane kick I was on? The Christian Jacobs kick I'm on now makes much more sense.
The Ghost And Mr. Chicken - All I remember about this one is "Atta boy, Luther!"
Ed TV - Much better than I was expecting but I don't think I need to see it again.
Martyrs - This is one I'd actually really like to watch again. I wasn't impressed at the time but this one really stuck with me and I want to go through it again. I think I'd like it more a second time.
Hide - Couple on a crime spree movies are almost guaranteed to entertain me.
The Kovak Box - Forgettable.
Her Minor Thing - Terrible movie with one really amazing kiss that almost make it worth it. Almost but not quite.
Harper's Island - Man was this show depressing.
Machete - Really fun, looking forward to the sequel.
RED - Action movie about old people = infinitely better than Brian Cox avenging his dog's death. But I still didn't like it all that much.
Keep Your Distance - The one thing that made me enjoy it back then was an actor I am no longer into.
The Crooked E: The Unshredded Truth About Enron - And even when I was into him, he couldn't save this lousy thing.
Tron Legacy - Don't like it.
Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part One - The closest thing to a good Harry Potter movie there is.
The Haunting - Better than the remake, I guess, but still dreadful compared to the book. And way too shrill.
The Boogeyman - Pretty okay but not good.
Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip - Much better than I expected it to be.
Boogeyman 2 - Even though it consists mostly of clips from the first one, it's somehow much more entertaining than the first one.
Cecil B. Demented - One of my top ten favorite movies. So, so good! Makes me ridiculously happy.
Friday Night Lights - So not my kind of movie.
Classic Dating Tips - Oh, old timey instructional videos. You're so fun.
The Damned Thing - A bit of a disappointment, but I could say that of almost every episode of Masters Of Horror.
F/X - This was actually a pretty damn good movie. And it's fun hearing Gordon from Sesame Street say "goddamn."
Abbott And Costello Meet Frankenstein - Fun but couldn't hold a candle to that old tape of some of their radio sketches that my brother had.
The Bed Sitting Room - This was an odd one. I wanted to like it way more than I did.
Creepshow - I like Creepshow.
Nightmares In Red, White And Blue - Far too up my alley for me to not enjoy it.
Showstoppers: The Best Of Broadway - Has some good numbers, including an absolutely beautiful and heartbreaking Send In The Clown by Glynis Johns, but there was as much bad as there was good.
Darkness Falls - I wonder how different this movie would have been if they'd stuck with their original Tooth Fairy.
Final Stab - Pretty fun but not in a watch it again kind of way.
Red Hook - It was all right, I guess. I liked bits of it.
Going To Pieces: The Rise And Fall Of The Slasher Movie - See the entry for Nightmares In Red, White And Blue.
Frozen - Made me depressed for, like, a week. I will not be watching it again.
Brand - I don't think I was thrilled with it at the time but Patrick McGoohan's performance was good enough that I'd absolutely watch it again.
Escape From Alcatraz - Pretty good but a bit too serious for my taste. What happens with the artist character upset me too much to make me want to see it again.
The Quare Fellow - Not really my kind of movie but it sure has a lot of Patrick McGoohan in it!
Silver Streak - Richard Pryor was very funny.
High Tide At Noon - Fine actor though he may be, I don't buy Patrick McGoohan as a rapist.
The Three Lives Of Thomasina - Decent old live action Disney movie. I think I still own it.
All Night Long - Possibly the best of the old Patrick McGoohan movies I tracked down that year. I love it.
Braveheart - I had always assumed I wouldn't like this movie and it turns out I was big, fat wrong.
Mary, Queen Of Scots - I don't think I paid much attention to this one. Glenda Jackson is rad, though.
The Best Of Friends - Three old people talk a lot. Sounds boring but I really liked it.
A Time To Kill - The only good things about this movie are Patrick McGoohan being all snooty and southern, and Sam Jack's "Yes, they deserved to die and I hope they burn in Hell!"
Ice Station Zebra - That is one manly-ass movie! So good.
Mother's Day - Well, I don't hate it as much as the Cinema Snob does. It has its moments. I like that the whole thing turns out to just be a shaggy dog joke.
Watch Out - It's certainly no Pep Squad, that's for sure. But I'd kind of like to see it again. It was a strange, interesting movie and the lead actor did a great job of carrying it.
A Night In Casablanca - I haven't seen a post-Zeppo Marx Brothers movie that I've liked as much as the ones that they made with him.
Dolly Dearest - Pretty okay. Kinda forgettable.
Strays - I barely paid attention to this movie.
Horns - Stephen King's son proves that coming up with an interesting premise and a disappointing execution runs in the family.
House Of Fears - It was good but it really just made me want to visit the House Of Fears attraction. Too bad it isn't real.
The Toolbox Murders - I liked the first, murdery half better than the second, kidnappy half.
The Lawnmower Man - Would've liked it better if I'd watched it back in the '90s.
The Men Who Stare At Goats - I feel very fondly toward this movie and would like to see it again.
Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog - Liked the songs, did not like the movie.
This Film Is Not Yet Rated - Made me wish the MPAA would hire people like me.
The Washingtonians - Of the season two episodes of Masters Of Horror I saw, I think this was the best but I wish they'd stuck with the tone of dread rather than going for the laugh.
The Green Hornet - There was a song in the end credits I liked.
Hell Drivers - Fun and pretty corny.
Insidious - One of the few movies in recent years to actually frighten me. Love it.
Brass Target - I checked out about half an hour in when Patrick McGoohan's character dies.
Fallen Angels - Did I even finish this movie?
Luck - Had some good scenes but overall was disappointing.
Hanna - Had a good first twenty minutes or so but overall was disappointing.
Alone In The Dark 2 - Not enough Bill Moseley.
Arthur - A lot of people really seem to hate Russell Brand but I actually rather like him.
Nor The Moon By Night - Really? Who would fall for the guy who's trying to convince a girl she doesn't belong here instead of a dashing Patrick McGoohan?
Carnival Of Souls - Not nearly as dreadful a remake as the internet would have you believe.
Ramona And Beezus - An "inspiring" "family" "comedy" that panders and insults rather than moves and inspires. This movie can bite me.
The Escort - A play that started out entertaining and kind of funny that suddenly took a turn and became very, very depressing.
Delicatessen - I wanted to like this movie much more than I actually did. I'd wanted to see it since high school; there was probably no way it could live up to my expectations.
Scre4m - Ugh.
Alice In Wonderland - The creepy 1950 version. Didn't like it much.
Kings And Desperate Men - A serious, depression '70s movie that I actually liked. But I never did get around to watching it again. I don't think I have the mettle for it.
Treasure Planet - Way better than I was expecting.
Two Evil Eyes - Pretty good, had some genuinely disturbing bits.
The Backwoods - Not enough Gary Oldman.
The Boondock Saints - Love it.
Are You Scared - Liked the premise better than the actual movie.
Two Living, One Dead - One of those movies where you just want to climb into the TV and give all the characters a good talking to.
The Hard Way - Barely remember it but I think Patrick McGoohan did a good job.
Jeepers Creepers 2 - Didn't like it.
Waxwork 2: Lost In Time - Lots of fun, liked it a lot.
The Phantom - Ah, another superhero I'm not sick of! I really loved this movie. They don't make 'em like this anymore. Darker and edgier is ruining everything.
Young Sherlock Holmes - Liked it a lot but the living snack food scene will probably disturb me forever.
Pirates Of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides - Such a letdown. I love the first three Pirates movies and then this one is all dreadful Penelope Cruz and stupid mermaid romance bullshit.
The Gypsy And The Gentleman - Boring but fun to make fun of and Patrick McGoohan has a big ol' beard.
Intruder - Loved it but hated the ending.
Dorian Gray - Kinda bummed me out and the portrait wasn't creepy enough.
The New York Ripper - A Fulci classic. Enjoyed it quite a lot.
Casino Royale - The original one, with Peter Lorre. I'm not a huge Bond fan so it didn't do much for me. But I do love Peter Lorre.
Taboo: The Beginning Of Erotic Cinema - Sounds way better than it actually is.
The Prowler - Really good '80s slasher. I'd like to watch it again.
Oscar - Sylvester Stallone doesn't get enough credit for being as funny as he is. This movie is a lot of fun.
Inside The Marx Brothers - A really interesting documentary but I wish the sound quality had been better.
TerrorVision - Made me feel sick to my stomach.
Scanners - Possibly my favorite of the Cronenberg movies I've seen.
I Need That Record! The Death (Or Possible Survival) Of Independent Record Stores - Made me feel sad and still makes me sad to think about it.
The Cocoanuts - I think I get I Want My Shirt stuck in my head at least once a week.
The Bible ... In The Beginning - It was all right. I liked parts of it.
A Private Man - Not really a movie but full of Patrick McGoohan.
Alice In Wonderland - No. Bad Tim Burton! *swats him with a rolled up newspaper*
The Man In The Iron Mask - Richard Chamberlain does a very entertaining sungod tribute dance thing. That was my favorite part.
Jamaica Inn - Turns out I only had one tape of a two tape set. Oh well.
A Night At The Opera - Too much opera, not enough slapstick. How is this the most famous Marx Brothers movie?
Zarak - Not enough Patrick McGoohan.
X-Men First Class - Had a lot of good in it but for some reason the first thing I think is how flat January Jones was.
Kung Fu Panda 2 - Made me cry a lot and not as good as the first one.
Horrible Bosses - I want to see this one again and find out if it's as funny as I thought it was the first time I saw it.
Love Happy - Even though I love Harpo, this is my least favorite Marx Brothers movie.
The House Of The Devil - Very well done and unsettling. The kind of movie that seems like it would have bored me but actually gave me the creeps.
Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part Two - I hate the Harry Potter movies.
Death Becomes Them - My DVD of this movie didn't have any sound for the first half but from what I could tell from the second half, the couple who runs the Museum Of Death are cool people.
Hysteria - I didn't keep it but I could draw enough comparisons to The Prisoner that now I'm kinda wishing I had.
My Favorite Brunette - Liked it way more than I assumed I would. Bob Hope was really funny.
Kill Your Darlings - I'm not into experimental short films and Eugene Hutz wasn't in it enough.
Cowboys And Aliens - Was not worth a second viewing.
Cutthroat Island - Is that the Geena Davis one? It had all the elements of a really fun movie that just didn't come together like they should have.
Johnny Dangerously - The video for This Is The Life was better.
Fright Night - Lots of fun, like it a lot.
Bronson - Oughta watch this one again. I have fond feelings toward it but also don't really remember it.
Thor - I'd rather watch a movie about Thor's four friends.
Midight Movie - Really entertaining book but parts of it made me feel ill.
Frankenstein Unbound - Didn't live up to that creepy stitched-eye poster.
Dracula: Dead And Loving It - Really fun as long as I can make myself not compare it to the book. I miss Mel Brooks movies.
How To Be A Serial Killer - The clips of the promotional speaker self help video were way more entertaining than the movie itself.
From Dusk Till Dawn - Why don't I own this movie?
This Day In Fear - I don't remember watching this at all.
Bolt - Rhino is the only good part.
Taras Bulba - Eugene Hutz's introduction was the best part. Just not my kind of book.
Baby: Secret Of The Lost Legend - I didn't like it.
Everyday Sunshine: The Story Of Fishbone - What a fascinating band. I do own this movie.
The Perfect Host - I saw this movie the night before Halloween and on Halloween I hung out with a friend of mine and he was dressed as an Aquabat. Considering my current television obsession, that's the most important thing about The Perfect Host to me today.
Dr. Syn Alias The Scarecrow - This was all right but overlong. If I could find an affordable version of the collectible tin release of this movie, though, I'd buy it.
Puss In Boots - After the movie my cousin asked me if I liked it and I told him "Like is a strong word." I stand by that.
Drive - This movie, however, is fucking fantastic.
Vertigo - I'm so glad the movie barely followed this book at all.
A Very Harold And Kumar 3-D Christmas - About half an hour after this movie I found out my grandpa was definitely going to die.
Psycho - Might've been a more suspenseful book if I never saw the movie.
Hostel - Much better than I was expecting.
Hostel II - Even better than that.
Nine Lives - Oh lord, what a bore.
Psycho Two - Had some good scenes but still not a great book.
Psycho House - By this point I had completely given up on Robert Bloch.
Hugo - I would love to see this movie again. It was pretty damn magical.
Saw VII - Disappointing but the ending was good.
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy - How can a movie with this much Gary Oldman be this forgettable?
The Human Centipede: First Sequence - The one girl crying "I want my mom" still makes me break down. Nothing else that happens in this movie upsets or disturbs me nearly as much as that one line.
Made In America - That was a fun night. I remember talking about the movie to my friends more than I remember the movie itself.
Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows - Lots of fun but what I really remember is Joanna laughing her head off at "Lie down with me, Watson."
Conan O'Brien Can't Stop - I really wanted to like this documentary but it was kind of dull. I wish it had featured more of his Legally Prohibited From Being Funny On Television Tour.
American: The Bill Hicks Story - A very well made video about my favorite comedian of all time.
The Bleeding House - Lousy.
The Abomination - Surprisingly creepy for the kind of movie it is. (Another one I'd love to see the Cinema Snob review.)
Five Across The Eyes - One of the absolute worst movies I have reviewed for this blog. This movie brings out the misogynist in me.
Monty Python's Life Of Brian - I can't believe it took me as long as it did to see this movie all the way through. It's really good.
The Masque Of The Red Death - Entertaining but not exactly memorable.
Who P-p-p-plugged Roger Rabbit? - I think he based this sequel on the movie rather than the original book and that annoys me.
Who Is Harry Nilsson (And Why Is Everybody Talkin' About Him)? - Because he's fantastic, that's why. This is one of the few movies I've seen that I can confidently recommend to everybody.
Drive Angry - So much fun!
The Devil Inside - Going to see this movie was the closest thing to a date I've ever been on and the guy talked loudly through the whole thing. We never saw each other again.
Shadows And Fog - I think of all the Woody Allen movies I saw that year, this was the only one I really liked.
Kill Your Idols - Could've done without all of Karen O's "like"s and "you know"s but really fascinating apart from that.
Room Service - I have completely forgotten everything about this movie.
50 / 50 - Anjelica Huston was the best part of this movie.
Manhattan Murder Mystery - She was really good in this one, too, but there was too much of this movie that just made my stomach hurt.
Killing Zoe - Love it.
Alice - Not one of the better Woody Allen movies I saw.
The Woman In Black - Too many jump scares, not enough real suspense.
As Good As It Gets - I didn't like it.
Manhattan - I don't really remember it.
Arthur Christmas - It was a lot better than the previews made it look but I seem to recall there being some sad stuff that kinda ruined it for me.
Breathing Room - Not the best entry of the suspensey, sci fi-y, bunch-of-characters-in-an-enclosed-space genre I've seen but I love that genre enough to even enjoy the mediocre ones.
Spellbound - Old German Professor Doctor Guy was the best part.
Forgetting Sarah Marshall - I actually really liked this movie, which surprised me 'cause the previews looked dreadful.
The Purple Rose Of Cairo - Okay, if you've never seen the movie, don't read what I'm about to say 'cause I want to say How It Should Have Ended: She should have chosen to go back in the movie with the Jeff Daniels that actually loved her, and that should have been followed immediately by shots of every copy of the movie being destroyed, just like the producer (or whoever that was) said they'd do, thus making it both a happier ending and a much bleaker ending. You blew it, Woody Allen.
Superbad - I liked it at the time but looking back I cannot for the life of me think of why.
Captain Ron - This is a fun one, very '90s.
Lars And The Real Girl - There's a lot of bittersweet surrounding this movie and I'd rather not say anything more than that.
Silent House - Lousy.
Interiors - Lousy.
Factotum - Well, at least it wasn't Silent House or Interiors.
21 Jump Street - So damn funny. I love Lord and Miller.
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo - Whoever told me this movie is crazy violent is a liar. It's only somewhat violent.
The United States Of Leland - Awful.
Subterano - Sadly pretty boring.
The Devil's Carnival - It's no Repo! but it was still pretty damn great.
Eastern Promises - I barely remember this movie.
Cassandra's Dream - Not a good movie.
The Cabin In The Woods - The best movie of 2012, no question about it.
The Raven - Awwwww.
The Pirates! Band Of Misfits - I need to see it again because I cannot remember what I was laughing at.
The Rutles 2: Can't Buy Me Lunch - Disappointing but without it I'd have never heard Back In '64, which is a great song.
The Avengers - Saw it twice and can barely tell you anything about it. Guess I didn't like it.
All Good Things - Not nearly as good as my friend made it sound when he first told me about it.
Dark Shadows - I liked the Alice Cooper part.
Hatchet Two - Forgettable.
Mirrors - I never did get to see how it ended.
Double Take - I still don't understand this movie.
The Long Kiss Goodnight - This movie is so much fun. This is the amount of fun that Cutthroat Island should have been.
300 - Too much talk, not enough swordfighting.
Total Recall - Entertaining '90s sci fi. I just don't like Arnold Schwarzenegger very much.
Inkubus - Robert Englund is the reason to watch this movie.
Snow White And The Huntsman - This movie was awful. How did I end up seeing it twice?!
Tourist Trap - This was a weird one and I didn't like it at the time but now I'd really like to see it again.
The Hunger Games - The more I think about this movie, the more I hate it. But I would like to see a movie just about the four adult characters (Elizabeth Banks, Stanley Tucci, Woody Harrelson and Lenny Kravitz).
The Horde - I'm so sick of zombies.
Rubber - This is another one I'd kind of like to see again just because certain parts of it are very vivid in my mind but I can't decide if it worked as a whole.
Enter The Void - I don't want to get into the depths of unhappiness this movie sent me to.
Rock Of Ages - I miss the play.
Brave - I love Brave so much I forget that there are any other Pixar movies that I like at all.
The Oxford Murders - Just watch the last fifteen minutes.
The Dark Knight Rises - I didn't retain any of it.
Slices Of Life - A neat idea but I didn't like any of the stories.
Total Recall - I forgot this movie while I was watching it.
Tales From The Script - A brilliant documentary that simultaneously inspired me to write as much as possible and to quit writing completely.
Being Elmo - Some scandal found Kevin Clash after I watched this movie. And I don't know much about that but I do still like the guy and I'm sad that he had to leave Sesame Street.
The Watch - Too much Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn, not enough Richard Ayoade.
The Bourne Legacy - The boring legacy.
Premium Rush - I can't get over what a terrible cop that guy must be to think he can use the alias Forrest J. Ackerman.
The Campaign - Awful.
Blood Simple. - Pretty suspenseful but not my favorite Coen Brothers movie. Not the worst I've seen, either.
Son Of Dracula - Not exactly a good movie but it looked like everyone was having a good time.
Safety Not Guaranteed - I'm surprised that I still look rather fondly on this one.
Lawless - Completely forgettable.
The Aristocats - Even the most mediocre of classic Disney animated features are worth a watch.
House At The End Of The Street - Elizabeth Shue was the only talented person in the movie and they wasted her. House At The End Of The Street royally sucked.
Looper - The first twenty minutes or so were good.
Pieces - Probably my second favorite of the Video Nasties I've seen. Lots of fun.
Argo - Proof that even I will like a based on a true story drama if it's done well enough.
Seven Psychopaths - I remember laughing a lot but don't actually remember the movie. I'd really like to see it again.
Sinister - Quite a letdown.
The Three Caballeros - I love this movie. It's strongly connected to my childhood and it makes me happy.
Red Dawn - Awful. But, once again, I spend way too much of the review complaining about how unattractive people are rather than how dreadful the movie itself was.
Bedknobs And Broomsticks - One of my top ten favorite Disney movies.
Fun And Fancy Free - Turns out I only like Mickey And The Beanstalk when Sterling Holloway narrates it.
Skyfall - The opening credits was the best part.
Attack Of The Giant Leeches - I've already forgotten it.
Forgotten Silver - Best prank documentary ever. Highly recommended to all.
Dominique - I'm really glad I got rid of those "fifteen horror movies for five dollars" sets I was going through. I wasn't enjoying them.
The Undertaker And His Pals - Except this movie. Best end credits song ever.
Nightmare Castle - Yawn.
Ecstasy In Entropy - Less than three seconds of Eugene Hutz shrouded by shadows. So not worth it.
The World Of Henry Orient - Love, love, love, love, love this movie.
Bell Book And Candle - Was fun but I feel no need to see it again.
Humungous - Mostly forgettable.
Hostel Part III - Not nearly as good as the first two.
Bloody Pit Of Horror - I fell asleep right as it started getting interesting. Make of that what you will.
Pooh's Heffalump Movie - Oh my god Lumpy is so cute my heart is going to explode.
Les Miserables - I'm still amazed by how much I liked this music.
V/H/S - I'm finally willing to admit I didn't like it very much. But damn did it have a good trailer.
The Serpent And The Rainbow - Bill Pullman is so cool.
The Ghost - Don't remember it.
Home On The Range - Okay, not every Disney animated movie is worth seeing.
Take It Or Leave It - I'm going to London the last week of September and I am going to see Madness while I'm there! Already got my ticket and everything! So excited!
The Lady Vanishes - This was a good, solid movie. I liked this one.
She Gods Of Shark Reef - Did I even finish this one?
Blackmail - Proof that not every Hitchcock movie is good.
The Road To El Dorado - Better than it looked in previews but still not great.
Alfred Hitchcock Presents: The Sorcerer's Apprentice - Hitchcock's bits were hilarious and the end of the story was genuinely disturbing.
High Anxiety - I liked it a lot when I watched it but now all I can remember are the scenes I didn't like very much.
Mama - I cannot ever see this movie again. It just made me too sad.
Candleshoe - I'm glad that family movies like this exist. This is one I will have no problem letting my kids watch.
Bran Nue Dae - Did not live up to its coolass trailer.
Rise Of The Guardians - Loved it until the ending happened. *hugs plush Pitch Black*
Dementia 13 - Had its moments but kinda draggy.
The Blob - Some creeping dread and some '60s corniness.
All The King's Men - I had no intention of watching this one but it sucked me in and wouldn't let me change the channel.
Cannibal Girls - Disappointing.
Alice In Murderland - I gave this movie a lot of shit (and used the word "cunt" way too much) but I actually really enjoyed it in a so-bad-it's-entertaining way.
Crazy Lips - I want this movie to have a huge cult following. It's so out there and awesome. I'm going to make my friends watch it.
Spider - Decent movie though I still don't know if I understood it.
Re-Animator - So much fun.
Serial Mom - Really disappointing.
Dr. Giggles - Really disappointing.
Zardoz - The opposite of The Hunger Games; the further I get from this one, the more I like it.
Bunraku - Beautiful movie. I've been trying to get everyone I know to watch it.
Videodrome - I think I wanted to like this one more than I actually did.
Superfudge - That is probably the most cursing you will ever see in a review of a children's book. But I really didn't like that book.
The Poughkeepsie Tapes - I liked the format better than most found footage movies but I still feel like it could have been better.
The Adventures Of Elmo In Grouchland - Has its moments.
Pippi Longstocking - I like the premise more than the movie. Maybe I'll give the book a try.
A Liar's Autobiography - Not nearly as good as I wanted it to be.
Dolls - Pretty good but not second-viewing good.
Love At Stake - Ditto.
Likehell: The Movie - Stupid but I like it. Not enough Scott Lucas, though.
Slumber Party Massacre - I love me some '80s slasher movies.
Transylvania 6-5000 - I probably would have liked it when I was a kid but man did it bore me.
Exam - Good movie, gave me weird dreams. I approve.
The Lords Of Salem - Can't wait 'til it comes out on video. I really want to see it again.
Graham Chapman: Anatomy Of A Liar - Should've just watched this and skipped Liar's Autobiography.
Primer - I've read a lot about it since I watched it and I still don't get it.
The Gay Bed And Breakfast Of Terror - Fun movie, stupid ending.
Alice - Terrifying.
Evil Dead - Remake done mostly right.

End of line.
-Sally

Evil Dead

Before I hop into the review, a little backstory:
I was too afraid to watch horror movies until I was about seventeen. And now I'm a horror junkie. It happens.
I vividly remember being about fourteen and my brother trying to convince me to watch The Evil Dead and he almost convinced me but then I chickened out.
The first time I really remember seeking out a horror movie it was because I wanted something scary to watch one almost-Halloween night. So my brother loaned me Halloween, which I watched and thought something along the lines of "That's it?! That's what I was scared to watch this whole time?" I was disappointed in it so I figured I'd dive in the deep end. The next movie I borrowed from my brother was The Evil Dead. It's the first horror movie I truly loved and it pretty much made it clear to me that, despite my real-life squeamishness, I am a gorehound.
And now they've remade it. And boy howdy is it gory.
Now, I'm really not into the whole Darker And Edgier trend that has been happening with remakes and superhero movies these days. I liked the remake of Fright Night because it was more silly than serious (I certainly hope they intended it to be silly) and I'd rather watch Batman Forever than The Dark Knight Rises. So it took me a while to get into Evil Dead simply because of its dark tone.
The plot centers on a girl, Mia, going out to her family's cabin with her brother and some friends, who are there to help her quit heroin. The situation is humorless, none of the characters are really given enough to do to make me like them (one of the friends I downright disliked) and for the first fifteen minutes or so I was starting to think maybe I wasn't going to like this one.
At some point, though I'm not sure when, it won me over. The gore probably helped but that wasn't the only factor. They kept the story interesting, for the most part the characters really seemed to be thinking about their situation and reacting like real people might. I know I often champion a lack of realism in movies, but only when the tone of the movie calls for it. And since this movie was taking itself seriously, the realism was necessary.
I actually had a problem with the fact that it referenced the originals too much, which feels a little odd to say since it is a remake. But it was also its own story and it was also bigger-budget, slicker and a bit more serious than the original (and a lot more serious than Evil Dead 2, which it also referenced) so it took me right out of the movie when the lightbulb dripped blood or someone said "Fine? [this crazy thing just happened] Does that sound fine?" or whatever. Moments like that just made me think of The Evil Dead and Evil Dead 2 and I lost focus on Evil Dead in front of me.
I have a couple of other minor complaints, like the fact that the movie doesn't really make it clear what happened to one of the deadites and the character who starts reading the Book Of The Dead really has no reason to other than to get the plot rolling. That bugged me. And there's a rather huge event that happens near the end that I'm totally calling shenanigans on but if it didn't happen there wouldn't have been an epic finale so I guess I'm just going to have to accept it.
Positives about the movie? Well, I really enjoyed it. That's definitely a plus.
Like the original, there's one particular gory special effect that I couldn't stand to watch, which is always fun, and was followed by a line that, for some reason, cracked me right up (I don't know if it was really supposed to be all that funny but what are you going to do? The movie was pretty much entirely humorless, something had to cut the darkness).
The blood and gore and violence were plentiful, which I liked. And despite not really liking any of the characters, I did care what happened to them in the end.
And I think the biggest compliment I can give this movie is that I didn't spend the whole running time playing Compare To The Original, except when it made references and, thus, forced me to. But while I was watching this movie, I was watching this movie. I didn't start playing the comparison game until the drive home, which is quite a feat when you're a remake of one of my favorite movies. The Nightmare On Elm Street remake sure failed that test.
And my overall conclusion is that it's a bit unfair to play the comparison game in this movie's case. It did a good job of making itself a seperate entity. Do I like it as much as the original? No. But the original is my fifth-favorite movie of all time so that's pretty tough to live up to. This movie was entertaining and it was solid and I'm glad I saw it.
Sure there were things about it, entire characters and plot points in fact, that I just didn't like. But in the end they didn't detract from my opinion of the movie. But I still walked out of the theater feeling chipper and pleased with what I'd just watched. It held its own in the inevitable shadow of a classic. That's pretty impressive.

End of line.
-Sally