According to backstory, in the 1970s a doctor at a European mental institution tortured and killed his patients. He filmed all of it. Now, in the 2000s, a film crew is in that same, now abandoned institution, filming a movie about the atrocities that happened in the '70s.
Of course, the crew happens to find a secret room with all the doctor's films in it and the movie director becomes obsessed. He decides to finish the doctor's work.
Skeleton Crew is badly acted and barely makes sense and, somehow, that works in the movie's favor. I don't know why but, much like Pep Squad, this movie would have sucked in the hands of capable actors.
There are plot holes (the most obnoxious one: there's a crew member (the actor playing the Boyfriend) who disappears after the first sequence; there's no explanation for it, he doesn't get killed, he's just gone), unexplained supernatural type stuff and a lot of dumb references to "We're in a horror movie, we have to follow the rules."
That was actually what bugged me most about the movie. After Scream came out, a large portion of slasher movies decided they were film savvy, too, and decided to have their characters talk about "the rules." It was a gimmick in Scream, a pathetic gimmick in Screams 2 and 3, and in every non-Scream movie it sounds even stupider. Skeleton Crew loses extra points because they don't make an attempt to explain what the rules are. One character actually ends the "following the rules" line with "Let's go to the basement." ...I'm sorry, what?! Be it a rule or just some advice, going into the basement is always a bad idea. Anyone in any other movie where they yammer about the stupid rules could tell you that!
In spite of that, I actually really liked Skeleton Crew. It was very stupid. It was also a lot of fun. And I get the impression nobody was taking the movie too seriously. I like that.
I imagine the writer didn't write a script so much as he wrote the following checklist:
- girls in underwear
- blood
- pun-spouting villain
- lesbians
- funny accents (they claim to be an American crew, but I counted entirely two people with American accents)
- incomprehensible twist
- incomprehensible stinger
Everything got thrown into a pot and we ended up with a pretty good soup.
Too bad the writer didn't bother to add "explanations" to the checklist. 'Cause I liked the incomprehensible twist but then they didn't actually do anything with it. If they took out the incomprehensible twist, the only thing the movie would have lost would have been that nonsense about following the rules. Which, honestly, would have improved it.
What they should have done was give their incomprehensible twist to a movie that would have worked with it.
End of line.
-Sally
Friday, October 23, 2009
The Hills Run Red
I rented The Hills Run Red along with another movie, Skeleton Crew (which I haven't watched yet), because they sounded like they had the same plot. I wanted to see which one I liked better.
I kind of forgot that I watched The Hills Run Red, which could be the entire review. It won't be, but I think that pretty much sums it up.
Once upon a time there was a movie called The Hills Run Red. It was shown once and then banned for its graphic violence. All copies of it were destroyed. All that remains is a trailer. Obnoxious know it all Tyler (I think his name was Tyler) drags his best friend Lalo and his girlfriend Serena (?) off to make a documentary about The Hills Run Red, returning to the locations where it was filmed. He has the director's daughter, who was in the movie, be their guide. When they get to the house where the movie was filmed, all hell breaks loose! Aaaah!
I spent a good portion of the movie thinking "This is like Cigarette Burns with a bit of Blair Witch Project wedged in there." (Everything reminds me of Blair Witch lately. Oy.)
And I'm starting to wonder if the problem lies with me, not the characters, because once again I absolutely hated the lead. Freakin' film student snotball. Lalo was obnoxious, Serena was bland and Alexa, the daughter, had moments of likeability sandwiched between stretches of really terrible acting.
I did like the director, Somebody Somebody Concannon, played by William Sadler (Death in Bill And Ted's Bogus Journey). Sure, he's the stereotypical "Blah blah blah, my art!" sort of director, but when Snotball tries some "I could help you be great" ruse to spare his own life, Concannon tells him off. Nice.
There were about twenty minutes of The Hills Run Red where I was really interested. It took a while to build up steam, but it got there. It was great!
Until bad acting took over. The ending is filled with prolonged shots of people screaming or laughing maniacally and, honestly, it was very, very annoying. I wanted to leap into the TV and yell at them to just shut the fuck up. It sounded fake and forced and I could not deal with it.
Here's hoping Skeleton Crew keeps the forced laughter to a minimum.
End of line.
-Sally
I kind of forgot that I watched The Hills Run Red, which could be the entire review. It won't be, but I think that pretty much sums it up.
Once upon a time there was a movie called The Hills Run Red. It was shown once and then banned for its graphic violence. All copies of it were destroyed. All that remains is a trailer. Obnoxious know it all Tyler (I think his name was Tyler) drags his best friend Lalo and his girlfriend Serena (?) off to make a documentary about The Hills Run Red, returning to the locations where it was filmed. He has the director's daughter, who was in the movie, be their guide. When they get to the house where the movie was filmed, all hell breaks loose! Aaaah!
I spent a good portion of the movie thinking "This is like Cigarette Burns with a bit of Blair Witch Project wedged in there." (Everything reminds me of Blair Witch lately. Oy.)
And I'm starting to wonder if the problem lies with me, not the characters, because once again I absolutely hated the lead. Freakin' film student snotball. Lalo was obnoxious, Serena was bland and Alexa, the daughter, had moments of likeability sandwiched between stretches of really terrible acting.
I did like the director, Somebody Somebody Concannon, played by William Sadler (Death in Bill And Ted's Bogus Journey). Sure, he's the stereotypical "Blah blah blah, my art!" sort of director, but when Snotball tries some "I could help you be great" ruse to spare his own life, Concannon tells him off. Nice.
There were about twenty minutes of The Hills Run Red where I was really interested. It took a while to build up steam, but it got there. It was great!
Until bad acting took over. The ending is filled with prolonged shots of people screaming or laughing maniacally and, honestly, it was very, very annoying. I wanted to leap into the TV and yell at them to just shut the fuck up. It sounded fake and forced and I could not deal with it.
Here's hoping Skeleton Crew keeps the forced laughter to a minimum.
End of line.
-Sally
Thursday, October 22, 2009
New York, I Love You
This movie is a companion piece to Paris, Je T'Aime, which I never saw. Basically, it's a bunch of short films about people in New York. I'm going to say right off the bat that this really isn't my kind of movie, to the point where I probably shouldn't even be reviewing it. I barely had a reaction to it.
I'll have to do this one short at a time:
- The first story had Andy Garcia in it and people's wallets got stolen. Pretty forgettable.
- I'm sure the second story was very good. It was about Natalie Portman and Irrfan Khan and their (well, their characters's) cultures. They happened to be cultures I know nothing about and I had to ask Lauren to explain a lot of it to me afterward.
- The third story had Orlando Bloom and he actually did a good job. First time I had a positive reaction to Orlando Bloom in anything. Good for him.
- Then there was the story about the kid whose pharmacist sets him up with his prom date. Mostly just awkward.
- Ethan Hawke makes everybody very, very uncomfortable. Lauren and I decided after the movie that the part would have been better played by Robert Downey Jr. Everyone still would have been very uncomfortable, but we would have been on the character's side. I mostly just wanted to run away from Ethan Hawke. Maybe sock him in the jaw first.
- The sixth story had the dude from Midnight Meat Train and some lady who looked familiar in it. It was pretty good. I felt about it the way I felt about the movie as a whole.
- I didn't understand the Julie Christie story. At first I thought that was because as soon as I found out Shia LeBeouf's character was (I think) Russian my mind started to wander to how Eugene Hutz should be in more movies (he's not Russian, but I'm a little Gogol Bordello obsessed at the moment and it was an easy jump to make) and I kind of stopped paying attention. Not entirely, but enough. So I figured it was just my daydreaming that made me not understand. But then, after the movie Lauren asked me what the hell happened in the Julie Christie story. So I guess it wasn't just me.
- The eighth story was very cute and very sweet, but there's a moment when two women in Central Park say something to the main character that I thought was incredibly rude. I guess it was sort of the point of the story, kind of, but honestly... It's fine if you assume stuff about people, but don't go saying it to their faces.
- The ninth story made me very, very sad.
- The one with Eli Wallach and Cloris Leachman was probably my favorite. I love little old couples.
- The last story was well acted, but I wasn't at all surprised by the ending and I think we were supposed to be. I found out by watching this story that I can't tell the difference between Robin Wright Penn and Rebecca Romijin.
New York, I Love You was, like I said, not my cup of tea, but I know people who probably would really like it. And I'm not going to let my personal prejudices get in the way of telling people it's not worth it.
Which I guess defeats the purpose of reviewing movies. But the point is I didn't hate it and I would recommend it. I just don't need to see it again.
End of line.
-Sally
I'll have to do this one short at a time:
- The first story had Andy Garcia in it and people's wallets got stolen. Pretty forgettable.
- I'm sure the second story was very good. It was about Natalie Portman and Irrfan Khan and their (well, their characters's) cultures. They happened to be cultures I know nothing about and I had to ask Lauren to explain a lot of it to me afterward.
- The third story had Orlando Bloom and he actually did a good job. First time I had a positive reaction to Orlando Bloom in anything. Good for him.
- Then there was the story about the kid whose pharmacist sets him up with his prom date. Mostly just awkward.
- Ethan Hawke makes everybody very, very uncomfortable. Lauren and I decided after the movie that the part would have been better played by Robert Downey Jr. Everyone still would have been very uncomfortable, but we would have been on the character's side. I mostly just wanted to run away from Ethan Hawke. Maybe sock him in the jaw first.
- The sixth story had the dude from Midnight Meat Train and some lady who looked familiar in it. It was pretty good. I felt about it the way I felt about the movie as a whole.
- I didn't understand the Julie Christie story. At first I thought that was because as soon as I found out Shia LeBeouf's character was (I think) Russian my mind started to wander to how Eugene Hutz should be in more movies (he's not Russian, but I'm a little Gogol Bordello obsessed at the moment and it was an easy jump to make) and I kind of stopped paying attention. Not entirely, but enough. So I figured it was just my daydreaming that made me not understand. But then, after the movie Lauren asked me what the hell happened in the Julie Christie story. So I guess it wasn't just me.
- The eighth story was very cute and very sweet, but there's a moment when two women in Central Park say something to the main character that I thought was incredibly rude. I guess it was sort of the point of the story, kind of, but honestly... It's fine if you assume stuff about people, but don't go saying it to their faces.
- The ninth story made me very, very sad.
- The one with Eli Wallach and Cloris Leachman was probably my favorite. I love little old couples.
- The last story was well acted, but I wasn't at all surprised by the ending and I think we were supposed to be. I found out by watching this story that I can't tell the difference between Robin Wright Penn and Rebecca Romijin.
New York, I Love You was, like I said, not my cup of tea, but I know people who probably would really like it. And I'm not going to let my personal prejudices get in the way of telling people it's not worth it.
Which I guess defeats the purpose of reviewing movies. But the point is I didn't hate it and I would recommend it. I just don't need to see it again.
End of line.
-Sally
Friday, October 16, 2009
Paranormal Activity
Mild spoilers ahead. Ye be warned.
At best, Paranormal Activity is a shaggy dog story: way too much setup for a mediocre punchline.
Raving Bitch and her boyfriend Useless Asshole are trying to investigate a ghost or demon or somesuch that has been obsessed with Raving Bitch since she was eight. The whole thing is shown in home movies that the couple made.
It was The Blair Witch Project all over again. And I'm not saying "It was the same style." I'm saying someone said "Let's remake Blair Witch but have it all take place in one house."
It starts with the couple happy and enthusiastic. Then they start hearing loud noises in the night and spend the rest of the movie screaming at each other 'cause they're out of cigarettes and he kicked the map into the river. No, wait, I mean because there was a picture in the attic and he brought a Ouija board into the house. Whatever.
The only way it differs from Blair Witch is we actually get to see some stuff. Emphasis on the "some." In other words, you see a shadow twice and some footprints. Oooh, spooky.
Oh, no, wait...
I was pretty excited going in to Paranormal Activity. I knew absolutely nothing about it going in other than everyone was raving about how terrifying it was. I'd only ever seen one preview and that was mostly just shots of the audience screaming. I almost never get to go to movies that I know nothing about, so I was all for it.
This is a movie that would have been terrifying a few decades ago, back when it hadn't been done before. If it had come out in the sixties, nobody would have made such a huge deal when Blair Witch came out in the nineties and would have saved us a lot of trouble. "Oh. It's Paranormal Activity, but in the woods. Let's go see Mystery Men instead."
Maybe Paranormal Activity was actually scary and I'm just jaded. I did have a good time watching it, but for all the wrong reasons. Lauren and I had a lot of fun insulting the characters under our breath. I know I complain about unlikable characters a lot, but jeesh! There's a reason I call them Raving Bitch and Useless Asshole. And I'd like to point out that we were not the only ones laughing.
The "terrifying noises" mostly just sounded like "the demon bought a drum kit." For most of the movie he seemed less like a threat and more like an annoying roommate.
I will say this: I admired the way the demon's actions were built up. It went from playing the drums to dragging people down the hall (one of two cool parts).
And I loved the last scene. Loved it, thought it was awesome. However, even though the movie was only about an hour and a half long, it felt like it took days to get to there.
I don't know if I think that last scene is worth the overly long, overly annoying build up. But I feel like it wouldn't be nearly as satisfying if there was no buildup at all. And it was only just satisfying enough (because, like I said, unlike Blair Witch, they actually gave us something at the end).
It really is just a shaggy dog story.
End of line.
-Sally
At best, Paranormal Activity is a shaggy dog story: way too much setup for a mediocre punchline.
Raving Bitch and her boyfriend Useless Asshole are trying to investigate a ghost or demon or somesuch that has been obsessed with Raving Bitch since she was eight. The whole thing is shown in home movies that the couple made.
It was The Blair Witch Project all over again. And I'm not saying "It was the same style." I'm saying someone said "Let's remake Blair Witch but have it all take place in one house."
It starts with the couple happy and enthusiastic. Then they start hearing loud noises in the night and spend the rest of the movie screaming at each other 'cause they're out of cigarettes and he kicked the map into the river. No, wait, I mean because there was a picture in the attic and he brought a Ouija board into the house. Whatever.
The only way it differs from Blair Witch is we actually get to see some stuff. Emphasis on the "some." In other words, you see a shadow twice and some footprints. Oooh, spooky.
Oh, no, wait...
I was pretty excited going in to Paranormal Activity. I knew absolutely nothing about it going in other than everyone was raving about how terrifying it was. I'd only ever seen one preview and that was mostly just shots of the audience screaming. I almost never get to go to movies that I know nothing about, so I was all for it.
This is a movie that would have been terrifying a few decades ago, back when it hadn't been done before. If it had come out in the sixties, nobody would have made such a huge deal when Blair Witch came out in the nineties and would have saved us a lot of trouble. "Oh. It's Paranormal Activity, but in the woods. Let's go see Mystery Men instead."
Maybe Paranormal Activity was actually scary and I'm just jaded. I did have a good time watching it, but for all the wrong reasons. Lauren and I had a lot of fun insulting the characters under our breath. I know I complain about unlikable characters a lot, but jeesh! There's a reason I call them Raving Bitch and Useless Asshole. And I'd like to point out that we were not the only ones laughing.
The "terrifying noises" mostly just sounded like "the demon bought a drum kit." For most of the movie he seemed less like a threat and more like an annoying roommate.
I will say this: I admired the way the demon's actions were built up. It went from playing the drums to dragging people down the hall (one of two cool parts).
And I loved the last scene. Loved it, thought it was awesome. However, even though the movie was only about an hour and a half long, it felt like it took days to get to there.
I don't know if I think that last scene is worth the overly long, overly annoying build up. But I feel like it wouldn't be nearly as satisfying if there was no buildup at all. And it was only just satisfying enough (because, like I said, unlike Blair Witch, they actually gave us something at the end).
It really is just a shaggy dog story.
End of line.
-Sally
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Trick 'R Treat
Freakin' finally! I've been waiting two years to see this movie!
Trick 'R Treat is sort of put together in the same way Pulp Fiction is put together: multiple stories that interlap. According to an article I read in Fangoria two years ago, the stories are supposed to represent Halloween for different age groups: pre-teens; twentysomethings; middle aged guys with kids and old people who hate Halloween.
Here is a list of the things I didn't like about Trick 'R Treat:
- projectile vomit
- mean spirited kids
- corny use of dialogue and music
More on those last two later. Here's what I did like about Trick 'R Treat:
- everything else
The stories are all incredibly entertaining and well made. More than once I wanted to yell at people in the movie for one reason or another, which could be considered a downside if it weren't for the fact that it means the movie was working. If you can get me involved enough to get riled up, you've made a fine film.
The mean spirited kids complaint is pretty short: The story about the pre-teens is fucking vicious and I very nearly hated it. Nearly.
There are two characters (one in one story, one in another) that I absolutely hated and wanted to see die. One of them lives and one of them dies off screen (which is no consolation for those of us who like to be able to see comeuppance gotten).
As for the second complaint: One of the stories ends with a few cliched lines spoken in a "meanacing" way. I guess the intention was supposed to make them scary. It didn't work. It was one of those instances where I rolled my eyes so far back I could actually see the part of my brain that thought it was lame. The use of Marilyn Manson's cover of Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This) did not help matters.
I don't know if it's just that it was overplayed or what, but Sweet Dreams is the one Marilyn Manson song I thought was stupid even back when I was a huge Marilyn Manson fan. Any other song would have been more effective to end that scene.
Well... maybe not any other song. Combination Pizza Hut And Taco Bell probably would have been stupider.
That's not the point. The point is: Trick 'R Treat = good scary movie for Halloween watchin', rainy day watchin' or plain old "I feel like a horror movie" watchin'.
End of line.
-Sally
Trick 'R Treat is sort of put together in the same way Pulp Fiction is put together: multiple stories that interlap. According to an article I read in Fangoria two years ago, the stories are supposed to represent Halloween for different age groups: pre-teens; twentysomethings; middle aged guys with kids and old people who hate Halloween.
Here is a list of the things I didn't like about Trick 'R Treat:
- projectile vomit
- mean spirited kids
- corny use of dialogue and music
More on those last two later. Here's what I did like about Trick 'R Treat:
- everything else
The stories are all incredibly entertaining and well made. More than once I wanted to yell at people in the movie for one reason or another, which could be considered a downside if it weren't for the fact that it means the movie was working. If you can get me involved enough to get riled up, you've made a fine film.
The mean spirited kids complaint is pretty short: The story about the pre-teens is fucking vicious and I very nearly hated it. Nearly.
There are two characters (one in one story, one in another) that I absolutely hated and wanted to see die. One of them lives and one of them dies off screen (which is no consolation for those of us who like to be able to see comeuppance gotten).
As for the second complaint: One of the stories ends with a few cliched lines spoken in a "meanacing" way. I guess the intention was supposed to make them scary. It didn't work. It was one of those instances where I rolled my eyes so far back I could actually see the part of my brain that thought it was lame. The use of Marilyn Manson's cover of Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This) did not help matters.
I don't know if it's just that it was overplayed or what, but Sweet Dreams is the one Marilyn Manson song I thought was stupid even back when I was a huge Marilyn Manson fan. Any other song would have been more effective to end that scene.
Well... maybe not any other song. Combination Pizza Hut And Taco Bell probably would have been stupider.
That's not the point. The point is: Trick 'R Treat = good scary movie for Halloween watchin', rainy day watchin' or plain old "I feel like a horror movie" watchin'.
End of line.
-Sally
Book Of Blood
In spite of the early "girl gets her face ripped off" scene, Book Of Blood takes a while to get going. For a while there I was wishing it would hurry up and end.
Eventually that feeling passed and I found myself completely drawn in to a pretty damn interesting ghost story.
An author who writes and teaches a class about paranormal activity holes up in a supposedly haunted house with her friend-with-a-lot-of-high-tech-equipment and one of her students, who has psychic visions. Crazy shit starts happening.
I've discovered the hardest thing in the world for me to do is review things that I enjoyed. I can never think of anything to say about them.
I liked Book Of Blood. I really did. That's all I've got.
That and an effective ending was marred by a framing device. Most of the movie is a story that the main character is telling. So after a very effective ending, a second and kind of pointless ending is tacked on for bad measure.
It doesn't ruin the movie, though.
End of line.
-Sally
Eventually that feeling passed and I found myself completely drawn in to a pretty damn interesting ghost story.
An author who writes and teaches a class about paranormal activity holes up in a supposedly haunted house with her friend-with-a-lot-of-high-tech-equipment and one of her students, who has psychic visions. Crazy shit starts happening.
I've discovered the hardest thing in the world for me to do is review things that I enjoyed. I can never think of anything to say about them.
I liked Book Of Blood. I really did. That's all I've got.
That and an effective ending was marred by a framing device. Most of the movie is a story that the main character is telling. So after a very effective ending, a second and kind of pointless ending is tacked on for bad measure.
It doesn't ruin the movie, though.
End of line.
-Sally
And Another Thing...
When I read a while ago that Someone Else was going to write another sequel to the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy series I rolled my eyes and complained about how stupid the idea was. I did this for several reasons, the biggest being:
1) Douglas Adams is dead; I don't care if Someone Else (or, as he's called by people who call him by his real name, Eoin Colfer) is working off of plans for a sixth book that Adams himself wrote; he's not Douglas Adams and he should leave alone what is not rightfully his.
2) Mostly Harmless is pretty fucking final.
I read about the plans for this book a while ago, but didn't hear much about it beyond "This is going to happen at some point." So I kind of forgot. It certainly wasn't on my mind when I started re-reading the Hitchhiker's Guide books recently.
And under normal circumstances I wouldn't have run out and bought this book. It just happened to come out the day after I finished re-reading Mostly Harmless.
Might as well see how they managed to weevil out of the mess they were in at the end of Mostly Harmless.
When I first started And Another Thing... I was kind of loving it.
The way the book is set up, flipping back and forth between characters who seem to have nothing to do with each other or the plot, interrupted by "Guide Notes," felt like this book was truer to the spirit of the orginial Hitchhiker's Guide book than the last three were. It's not that I don't like those books, they just feel less like "Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy books" and more like "books about Arthur Dent."
So I was impressed with And Another Thing... at first.
The problem with the book is that there would be sudden moments of, for instance "wrong dialogue": a little too stilted or a little too sappy. Eoin Colfer is not Douglas Adams and, while he stayed as true as he could to Hitchhiker's format, sometimes it was too Zarking obvious that someone else was at the reigns.
So as the book wore on I started to lose enthusiasm. Plot points came to a head too soon. At one point I felt like I was almost done but there was still about seventy pages left to go.
By the end of the book I felt as depressed and empty inside as I did the first time I finished Mostly Harmless.
There are awkward character changes that I forgot to mention earlier. Nobody is the same as they used to be (except maybe Zaphod). Trillian in particular suffers a weird personality shift.
SIDEBAR: Trillian keeps getting shafted in the characterization department. In The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy and The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe she was a brilliant and likeable astrophysicist. Something about her changed in Life, The Universe And Everything. Not drastically, but just enough that I noticed. By Mostly Harmless she'd changed into a completely different person, a shallow, jaded and useless Sub-Etha journalist. Trillian used to be my hero. Now I couldn't stand the sight of her if she were an actual person I was looking at.
By the end of And Another Thing... I was siding with Random. I never thought I'd like Random.
Okay, time to be positive. In spite of everything I've said, on the whole, I guess I did like the book. It's as worthy a sequel as the other sequels are. There's a law of diminishing returns with the Hitchhiker's Guide books. When it comes down to it, I only really love the first one. I like all the others, but they're not really mandatory.
I guess what I'm saying is: If you've read all the others, go ahead and read this one. If you liked all the others, you will probably like this one, too (I'm not making any promises, though). I'm glad I read it and I'm glad I have it, but I won't necessarily read it very often.
End of line.
-Sally
1) Douglas Adams is dead; I don't care if Someone Else (or, as he's called by people who call him by his real name, Eoin Colfer) is working off of plans for a sixth book that Adams himself wrote; he's not Douglas Adams and he should leave alone what is not rightfully his.
2) Mostly Harmless is pretty fucking final.
I read about the plans for this book a while ago, but didn't hear much about it beyond "This is going to happen at some point." So I kind of forgot. It certainly wasn't on my mind when I started re-reading the Hitchhiker's Guide books recently.
And under normal circumstances I wouldn't have run out and bought this book. It just happened to come out the day after I finished re-reading Mostly Harmless.
Might as well see how they managed to weevil out of the mess they were in at the end of Mostly Harmless.
When I first started And Another Thing... I was kind of loving it.
The way the book is set up, flipping back and forth between characters who seem to have nothing to do with each other or the plot, interrupted by "Guide Notes," felt like this book was truer to the spirit of the orginial Hitchhiker's Guide book than the last three were. It's not that I don't like those books, they just feel less like "Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy books" and more like "books about Arthur Dent."
So I was impressed with And Another Thing... at first.
The problem with the book is that there would be sudden moments of, for instance "wrong dialogue": a little too stilted or a little too sappy. Eoin Colfer is not Douglas Adams and, while he stayed as true as he could to Hitchhiker's format, sometimes it was too Zarking obvious that someone else was at the reigns.
So as the book wore on I started to lose enthusiasm. Plot points came to a head too soon. At one point I felt like I was almost done but there was still about seventy pages left to go.
By the end of the book I felt as depressed and empty inside as I did the first time I finished Mostly Harmless.
There are awkward character changes that I forgot to mention earlier. Nobody is the same as they used to be (except maybe Zaphod). Trillian in particular suffers a weird personality shift.
SIDEBAR: Trillian keeps getting shafted in the characterization department. In The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy and The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe she was a brilliant and likeable astrophysicist. Something about her changed in Life, The Universe And Everything. Not drastically, but just enough that I noticed. By Mostly Harmless she'd changed into a completely different person, a shallow, jaded and useless Sub-Etha journalist. Trillian used to be my hero. Now I couldn't stand the sight of her if she were an actual person I was looking at.
By the end of And Another Thing... I was siding with Random. I never thought I'd like Random.
Okay, time to be positive. In spite of everything I've said, on the whole, I guess I did like the book. It's as worthy a sequel as the other sequels are. There's a law of diminishing returns with the Hitchhiker's Guide books. When it comes down to it, I only really love the first one. I like all the others, but they're not really mandatory.
I guess what I'm saying is: If you've read all the others, go ahead and read this one. If you liked all the others, you will probably like this one, too (I'm not making any promises, though). I'm glad I read it and I'm glad I have it, but I won't necessarily read it very often.
End of line.
-Sally
Friday, October 9, 2009
The Wizard Of Gore
"Sit down, bitch. You die tonight."
It's probably better to watch remakes before the originals. That way I can be confused by them on their own merits.
The most I can say about the plot of Wizard Of Gore is this: Montag The Magnificent (Crispin Glover) performs magic shows wherein he mutilates and kills people (most of them are naked chicks, but we do get a clothed chick and a dude in his underwear, too). The people are fine at the end of the show, but the next day they're found dead anyway. Edmund Bigelow (Kip Pardue), his girlfriend Maggie (Bijou Philips) and their friend Jinky (Joshua Miller) try to crack the case.
There's the "back of the DVD" summary for you.
It took me more than an hour to realize that The Wizard Of Gore is a Se7en style film noir suspense movie. I rented it expecting a gorefest but, all things considered, it wasn't that bloody. All the magic tricks were performed behind a smokescreen and were the victims of cutaways and discretion shots. I'm not going to run out and, for instance, recommend this movie to my mom (for several reasons), but if you're really into gore, don't get your hopes up for a lot of it.
Anyway, once I got over the hurdle of figuring out exactly what kind of movie it is, I managed to enjoy it more. I just had to relax and let the plot twists take over.
'Cause, really, that's all this movie is: a series of plot twists. I think the majority of movies like to throw one or two really big plot twists at the audience in order to keep them on their toes. This one threw in several, to the point where not only do I think I didn't understand the movie, but I don't understand what I didn't understand about it.
Which, considering some of Montag The Magnificent's speeches, may have been the point in the first place. Either that, or we can include "what the hell he was going on about" to the list of things I didn't understand.
I think I would have really liked The Wizard Of Gore if it weren't for the protagonist. Edmund Bigelow has no redeeming qualities. In fact, he pretty much lacks a personality completely. The only stand out characteristic he has is that everything he owns is from the 1950s. To the point where it stops being cool and starts being pretentious. When your main character is bland and unlikable it really decreases the power of some of the plot twists.
Then there's Maggie. She lacks personality, too. So I guess she and Edmund are perfect for each other. At least Maggie owns a laptop computer, so she's bland and useless without being pretentious about it. Except she does spend a lot of time bitching and moaning about how the magic show is misogynistic. Which doesn't stop her from going a second, third and fourth time with Edmund. Inconsistency, thy name is Maggie.
I've got no beef with Jinky. He was the one likeable person in this mess.
It's really too bad that this movie is littered with these characters, really. I had no problem with the movie itself. It was confusing, certainly, but sometimes I like to be confused. I feel a bit like I did after I watched Saw IV. I'm a little pissed off right now 'cause I don't get it, but when it dawns on me I'm going to be very impressed.
A rewatch is out of the question, though, because I can't sit through another hour and a half of Edmund Bigelow and his stupid vintage suits.
You know you're a useless character when I hate your vintage suit.
End of line.
-Sally
It's probably better to watch remakes before the originals. That way I can be confused by them on their own merits.
The most I can say about the plot of Wizard Of Gore is this: Montag The Magnificent (Crispin Glover) performs magic shows wherein he mutilates and kills people (most of them are naked chicks, but we do get a clothed chick and a dude in his underwear, too). The people are fine at the end of the show, but the next day they're found dead anyway. Edmund Bigelow (Kip Pardue), his girlfriend Maggie (Bijou Philips) and their friend Jinky (Joshua Miller) try to crack the case.
There's the "back of the DVD" summary for you.
It took me more than an hour to realize that The Wizard Of Gore is a Se7en style film noir suspense movie. I rented it expecting a gorefest but, all things considered, it wasn't that bloody. All the magic tricks were performed behind a smokescreen and were the victims of cutaways and discretion shots. I'm not going to run out and, for instance, recommend this movie to my mom (for several reasons), but if you're really into gore, don't get your hopes up for a lot of it.
Anyway, once I got over the hurdle of figuring out exactly what kind of movie it is, I managed to enjoy it more. I just had to relax and let the plot twists take over.
'Cause, really, that's all this movie is: a series of plot twists. I think the majority of movies like to throw one or two really big plot twists at the audience in order to keep them on their toes. This one threw in several, to the point where not only do I think I didn't understand the movie, but I don't understand what I didn't understand about it.
Which, considering some of Montag The Magnificent's speeches, may have been the point in the first place. Either that, or we can include "what the hell he was going on about" to the list of things I didn't understand.
I think I would have really liked The Wizard Of Gore if it weren't for the protagonist. Edmund Bigelow has no redeeming qualities. In fact, he pretty much lacks a personality completely. The only stand out characteristic he has is that everything he owns is from the 1950s. To the point where it stops being cool and starts being pretentious. When your main character is bland and unlikable it really decreases the power of some of the plot twists.
Then there's Maggie. She lacks personality, too. So I guess she and Edmund are perfect for each other. At least Maggie owns a laptop computer, so she's bland and useless without being pretentious about it. Except she does spend a lot of time bitching and moaning about how the magic show is misogynistic. Which doesn't stop her from going a second, third and fourth time with Edmund. Inconsistency, thy name is Maggie.
I've got no beef with Jinky. He was the one likeable person in this mess.
It's really too bad that this movie is littered with these characters, really. I had no problem with the movie itself. It was confusing, certainly, but sometimes I like to be confused. I feel a bit like I did after I watched Saw IV. I'm a little pissed off right now 'cause I don't get it, but when it dawns on me I'm going to be very impressed.
A rewatch is out of the question, though, because I can't sit through another hour and a half of Edmund Bigelow and his stupid vintage suits.
You know you're a useless character when I hate your vintage suit.
End of line.
-Sally
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
